Hawk gasped for air as those words washed over him like a cold wave.You are so much and everything I desire. He remembered those words, spoken softly to him on a night whenall he craved was the cold embrace of a watery grave, the nihil of death and oblivion.
Happiness had been so close, at his fingertips, the entire time, and he was too willfully blind to see it.
19
The Honeymoon
But the king of them all would carry me,
Woo me, and win me, and marry me,
In the branching jaspers under the sea."
? Lord Alfred Tennyson, The Mermaid
You are so much and everything I desire.
HAWK STARED AT HIS LOVER. It had been him all along. The one who'd pulled him from the sea, who'd saved him. Happiness had been so close, at his fingertips, the entire time, and he was too willfully blind to see it.
“Silverfin,” Hawk whispered, like a prayer. Finn’s true name. It fit him like a fine kid leather glove. Hawk smiled and pressed his mouth to the salt-crusted curls that haloed around his beloved’s head, dark locks framing his tanned face. “My love,” he exhaled, holding on with arms that would never let go now that he had what he had sought.
Suddenly, unbalanced and unmoored, Hawk lost his footing and was tumbled over to his bed, Silverfin sitting astride his hips and smiling down at him like the cat who got the cream.
“We never did get to do this when I had all my legs,” Silverfin declared, tossing his long hair back, curls tumbling over his shoulders. He grinned as he wiggled his hips, a delightful rush of sensation against Hawk's constrained cock.
It was easy to imagine what it would be like to have Silverfin like this, riding his cock with passionate exuberance. Hawk ran his hands up Silverfin's thighs, fingers digging into his hips as he pulled him closer, craving more.
You are my intended, Silverfin had murmured, all the love in the world in his bright eyes.My everything. Such simple, fervent words from the lips Hawk had kissed so many times. But the truth of them had cut to his core, left him laid open and bare to love in a way that he hadn't felt for so long.
He tangled his fingers in the front of Silverfin's shirt, yanking him down to claim a kiss, hard and trembling. Had Silverfin felt like this, when he'd left behind his entire world for him? The part of Hawk that had been untethered since his flight from England longed to meld with Silverfin completely, to whisper platitudes, to beg him to swear his love eternal. But Silverfin had done all that, and more. So why did he still ache so?
"I need you," he whispered urgently, tugging at Silverfin's trousers.
Silverfin laughed softly, joyfully, rolling to one side to kick them off and start to work on Hawk's, his words fluttery, sweet kisses. "And you shall have me. As often as you like, however you like. I'll ride you hard on these new legs you've bought me until we're both spent, and then I'll do it again and again..."
Hawk's cock was certainly on board with that idea. He told the rest of him to follow, kicking off the last of his clothes and pulling the offending garments from Silverfin's body. As Silverfin drew him close, his skin even more perfect, soft and inviting over taut muscles, his whole body pressed warm and tantalizing against Hawk's. One of his legs wrapped over Hawk'ship, pulling him in, deeper into a sea he would gladly tumble into again and again.
It would be so easy to be one with him, to pull Silverfin on top of him, down onto his cock. Even easier to push Silverfin back into the softness of his bed as he had so many times before. And yet, he craved more.
"Do something for me," he breathed, closing his eyes as if it could shut out the rawness that welled up inside him.
"Anything." Silverfin's lips found his earlobe, sucking gently. "My beloved."
"I..." Hawk's words stuck in his throat. "I need you."
Silverfin's fingers curled in his hair, tugging gently, pulling Hawk's mouth back to his. "You have every part of me."
"I know. I know. But I... I need..."
Silverfin gave a soft, concerned hum. "You need?"
Wordlessly, Hawk pulled Silverfin on top of himself, sighing at the reassuring solidity of Silverfin's weight pinning him to the bed. He wrapped one leg up over Silverfin's hip, giving a deliberate thrust up against him, feeling his body shiver with longing. "This," he whispered, eyes closed, forcing the words from his lips. "Like this. Take me and make me forget that we were ever parted. Make me whole again, love, please."
Silverfin pulled back so suddenly that for a brief moment of panic Hawk thought he'd asked too much. But his beloved looked down on him only in astonishment, eyes wide. "Take you? Like you do to me, take you? Is that even a thing?"
Hawk’s face burned in shame. "Forget I asked," he muttered, trying to figure out how to shrug it off even as his heart throbbed with the pain of rejection.
Then, Silverfin's lips were back on his, harder, hungrier, groping for the small, stoppered bottle of oil where Hawk had secured it down the side of the mattress. He was agreeing, Hawk realized, at once elated and even more vulnerable. He turned onto his stomach before he could give free reign to even more thoughts and was rewarded by Silverfin's mouth on the back of his neck, sucking hungrily down his spine.
