“Smoke ‘em, Rey.”
“Yes ma’am.” Heat settles bone deep into my tone. I’m fighting something fierce within me, it’s trying to burn its way out while I swallow it down. Unease? No. Worry? Hell naw. I don’t know how to explain it, all I know is it’s devouring me from the inside out.
The on-ramp is officially in my sights and I am locked on it like some sort of fighter-jet pilot. It's my target. The goal is to get to it faster than we've been going and find a big enough space in traffic to safely merge, then put even more distance between us and Detroit’s not-so-finest.
Flicking my eyes ahead, I hunt for the perfect spot as rubber meets the ramp’s pavement, then we squeeze into the smallest opening between two tractor-trailers within seconds. Glancing, ensuring my blind spots are clear, we move into the next lane over—manipulating the traffic to our benefit. The moment cop lights appear again, I’m jamming the second NOS button and like a space shuttle, we’re out of here.
Mile after mile, Detroit disappears behind us. The blinding lights finally fade—neon giving way to the darkness of night; stars dot the atmosphere like tiny sparkling pinholes. With the windows down it’s easier to catch them flickering in the corner of my eyes, along with Nadia’s hair whipping around in the rough air. She’s quiet, the soft rasp of her voice no longer harmonizing with the music pouring through the system—admiring the shadows consuming the land on her side of the highway.
We’re halfway between New Baltimore and Port Huron now. I took the off ramp a few miles back and moved onto the backroads—searching for a place to hide out for a bit and let the heat from the city die down.
It’s more peaceful out here, which I prefer, and truthfully I want alone time with her. Park somewhere we can talk undisturbed, and listen to music, maybe even daydream about what’s next in her life—convince her to leave Hazelwood behind and be with me. Groveling too, there’s not much in this world I won’t do for her and if she demands that I crawl across God’sgreen Earth to apologize for ruining her night by kissing the toe of her shoe, I will.
Finding an overgrown drive and letting off of the gas pedal, we slow down before I ease on the break and creep off the black-top. We crawl down a gravel road, nestled in darkness and overseen by wildlife. Even the trees protect this spot by reaching over the road while some branches dip dangerously close to the top of the car. Thankfully the small fingerling twigs and leaves never officially touch the paint. Beyond our windows, I can hear a low crunch and crackle remixing with shifting rocks as the tires roll over debris. Deeper and deeper we go, disappearing into the night.
From here, I notice a pull-off on my left. I roll past then stop and reverse far enough down the drive where only the headlights are sticking out, they won’t be noticeable once I flip them off and leave only the radio playing.
Parked, I reach and turn the dial down some then unbuckle my harness—Nadia follows suit. The only other noise interrupting the playing is the soft clinks of metal and our gentle movements. Nervousness hits me with the weight of a freight train. After the shit we’ve gone through tonight, and having known her for a few years, there’s no damn reason I should be feeling this way. I know her. She knows me. We’re…friends. Not if I have anything to fucking say about it, not after tonight.
“C’mere,” I drawl, reaching for her hand to help her move over; color me surprised when she doesn’t hesitate.
Giving her time to settle, her legs stretch over the console as my left arm curls around her waist, stopping her from putting too much weight on the door and hurting her back. I like her center, right on the middle of my lap, having her pressed against me like I’m property and the faint scent of her body wash permeating my clothes. She likely has no clue but she’s my warding, scaring people away who try to get within an arm’slength of me. Tugging her slightly, my right hand splays across the outer side of her left thigh and tightens—kneading her flesh.
I want to lean in, to take her lips against mine and still a kiss I’m dying for, or ten, hell let’s make it twenty. However many she’s willing to part with to save a lonely soul like mine. Despite it all, she’s going to have to close the space—the ball is finally in her field.
“I’m sorry about tonight. It’s not what I had planned at all.”
Growing a pair, I look at her, our displaced heights giving her a few inches now that she’s perched on my lap like the goddess she is, taking claim of the dominion that is rightfully hers. Within seconds I’m sucked in by her sterling silver eyes, the words I had loaded on the tip of my tongue instantly die there. Dark strands of windblown hair are framing her face, some hanging and curling in softly swept spirals that rest at the jumping pulse of her neck. Greedily, I squeeze her thigh again, both hands yanking her impossibly closer.
“S…say something.” Whispering into the sparse space between us.
When she doesn’t, my heart leaps into my throat. I don’t know what to do, what to say, maybe I fucked everything up tonight and there’s no coming back from it. Everything I’ve worked for, the years I’ve waited to be with her, the decisions I made to ensure I can take her back to campus with me—gone. It’s over. Having to see the livelihood of unsavory people and getting caught up in it, was all it took for her to run the opposite direction.
Nadia has dealt with so much emotional and mental torment from her old man and I should have known better. I threw her freedom on the chopping block right when she was at the custom of having it all—this is the price I’m paying now.Her. There’s no way I can apologize my way out of this fuckup, and knowing that has my stomach plummeting. Still, my pleading mouth opens.
“Nadia, please. You’ve got to believe…” the words fall silent as she pushes a digit against my lips.
“Don’t,” she stops me. “I forgive you, just, stop. You don’t have to do that. Not with me, not ever.”
“Sweetheart, I…”
Snapping my mouth closed, I fight the urge in me and don’t do it again. Shifting my hands, pulling her upper body to mine, both of my arms wrap around her, hugging her to me. Then I do something I have wanted to do every night since she broke up with me; bury my nose into her wild hair and suck in the deepest, lung exploding, breath I can manage.
“Missed you so much. You know that? Fucking sucks in the city without you.”
Not only can I smell her, feel her, but I’ve intruded into her bubble so deep I can hear her heart pattering near my face.
Lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub.
Just when I thought she’s going to keep all of those feelings of hers wrapped up tight and boxed in cement, she opens up.
“I missed you too, more than I should have.” Her voice thick and smokey as she murmurs close to me.
Breaking away, and forgoing the idea of waiting for her to close the distance, I steal her. Crashing my lips to her gloss-coated ones until her breath hitches and her body melts on my lap. I’m ready to fall apart at the seams, crumble to the shadows of perdition, burst into dust when her arms coil over my shoulders and jerk me closer. Our teeth click from the deepened kiss then she opens without my prompting, I take the bait because I’m a fucking sucker for her.
My life hasn’t been exciting other than racing here or there. I’m not the smartest guy, I don’t have money. And football? Meh. College is a simple stepping stone and an accomplishment for Ma, rather than myself. This girl though, no…this woman, is the most important part of me that I’ll never let go of. Nadia ismy excitement, she’s the light that brings out the freckles across my face, the sun that makes my eyes burn gold, and the one I’ll spend the rest of my life worshiping.
“I love you,” I stutter into her mouth. Releasing her only to cradle her face for a moment, slowing down the kiss. “I want you.” My tongue caresses hers, memorizing the softness of her pouts and the sharp way she stops breathing. “I need you.” The last words fall from my lips; she catches between her teeth, pinching them into my bottom one then scrapes them away from the tender skin—swallowing them whole.
