“I…I don’t know. I just need to laugh. It’s…it’s so much.”
“Tell me about it.”
Alone on the highway once again, the off ramp for Hazelwood comes up quickly; a single self-serve gas station sits at the very end for people to use at all times of the night. Hitting the blinker, it clicks softly with Nadia’s residual giggles. The orange flicker reflecting off cars parked in a mom-and-pop car dealership next door, as well as the barred station windows.
Guiding the Civic off the highway, I ease on the brake, slowing down just in time to pull into the lot illuminated by one lonely light.
My nerves are slowing down, either that, or the rest of my body is finally catching up now that I’m done outrunning my guardian angels. At a pump, I shift the car into park and climb out to fuel up. The numbers on the pump roll by slowly, one right after another, while I wait with my hands tucked into my pockets–a little chilly outside for a late spring, early summer, night.
Nadia’s door opens, pulling my attention away from the pump when her toe pressing to the filthy concrete. It’s not quite open all of the way, but it hasn’t caught wind or flung open either, simply resting on the back of her calf while she moves around. Curiously, I watch rather than intervene or ask her what she’s doing–I like to be surprised sometimes, so why not be patient this once.
When I hear the radio station switch and the volume increase, I turn back to the pump and pray to the heavens–she’s going to ruin me. A fucking piano and acoustic guitar maintain a slow melody when she pushes the door wide and joins me. I can’t resist her when she reaches for me. Vacating my jacket pocket, my hand takes hers and spins her around with her hand high above her head. John Michael Montgomery’s singing aboutCinderella and Prince Charming, moving heaven and earth, giving everything he has to the woman he loves and the weight of his devotion resonates deep in my heart.
Pulling her into my arms, seeing her face full of so much happiness and those beautiful eyes staring up at me in awe, I finally recognized it. She’s here with me, truly, in the moment and though she doesn’t express her feelings the same way I do, I can read the devotion written in every micro-expression. The world may be blind, but I’m not, not while we dance right here at the damn pump.
Nadia doesn’t move how I imagined she would; like we’re at prom, both nervous and stiff. No, she has one hand on my chest, the other slid around to my back where she’s holding onto me as fervently as I’m holding her. Dipping an arm around her waist, the other braces her delicate jawline, my fingers teasing into her hair, and a thumb caresses her cheek.
I’m not a singer, so I’m not going to punish her with my tone-deaf drawl, but that’s not stopping me from kissing her. Hoping, praying, knowing she feels just how in love I am with her at this very moment–if she wants heaven and earth, she can have it. My heart, sold. However she wants to be loved, it’s hers.
Just take it, please. Hold it in your hands, sweetheart. Keep it warm and safe, but whatever you do, never let it go.
Breaking the kiss, our foreheads press together whenBad Companyqueues up next—a bit more my speed but I’m not complaining. I’ll stand here until the sun breaks the sky and the world wakes up in a frenzy just to keep dancing with her as if nothing else exists.
Breaking the spell, the rude as hell gas pump shuts off with a loud thump.
“This has been the best night of my life, Nadia.” I can’t bring myself to talk normally, a whisper is all she gets. I don’t want this to end–still wishing for that time travel device knowing itwill never come, but if it did, I would turn back to the moment she took my breath away at the bonfire. Then I would do it a hundred times more, repeating our greatest hits.
“Mine too, Rey. Thank you for tonight. You scared me and had me worried in all the wrong ways, just to turn around and give me a graduation night I could have only dreamed about.”
“Don’t have to thank me, I want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted. Especially if I’m the one who ends up in your arms at the end of the night. Pretty fair trade if you ask me.”
Kissing her again, I hug her tight to me and rest my chin on the top of her head. Both content in standing here taking up space and time—whatever it takes to keep from returning her to her stupid friends and her dick of a dad. These next few days are going to be the longest ones of my life, especially after having her all to myself with nothing else in the way.
Reluctantly, I help her back to her seat, buckle her harness, and shut the door. Finishing up at the gas pump I make my way around the back of the car then fold myself into the driver seat; unapologetically bummed now we’re officially out of time. It’s almost five in the morning, her dad will be looking for her, likely on a rampage since she never let him know she would be out until the ass-crack of dawn–fingers crossed he hasn’t been drinking or doing some other equally mind-altering substance.
“Ready?”
Poor thing’s getting tired, she’s slightly slumped in her seat and leaning back a bit more than she was earlier. “Mhm.”
Leaving the gas station in the dust, we’re back on the road and about five minutes from the bonfire. On our way we pass a few students I recall seeing at the gathering before Nadia showed up and we took off. Fingers crossed they make it home safely and without having a run in with the cops—though most of the police don’t give a shit in Hazelwood. They’re too busy flirting at the diner or sitting on the outskirts popping people in speed traps.
Finally, the trees framing the road open up to the field with still several cars remaining and a more relaxed-looking atmosphere. Of course my boys are here still, patiently waiting for me to scoop them up. Her friends, unsurprisingly, are loitering too–fuckers can’t do a damn thing without Nadia needing to be present. I was honestly impressed to see them here before she arrived, they took initiative and didn’t need her to hold their fucking hands; they’re growing up, I’m so proud.
Eyeroll.
I hate them. The longer I’m with her, the more I claim her, the less civil I will be when they come around to hang on her coattails . Yeah yeah, I know, I shouldn’t judge them or make her choose and the truth is I won’t; but she'll do it when she finally learns she’s out of their league. Ivy is the absolute worst, she’s going to be a terrible influence on her one day—or leave her high and dry when she needs her the most. I can’t wait, anything to get rid of that trifling bitch.
Though people have filtered out, there are still more here than I thought there would be at give in the morning. At least the fire has died down and it looks like the fire department didn’t show up either with how dry the ground is.
“Oh sweet, my friends are still here.” Nadia chimes in, plucking me from my thoughts.
“Lucky them.” I say dryly. “Sorry, I didn’t…”
“Yes you did. You don’t have to hide it, Rey. I know you don’t like them. They’re all I have though.”
“That’s not true, and you know it.”
Lord give me strength.I don’t want to end tonight with a disagreement. Let me just keep my mouth shut and crawl this car along the uneven pasture. No, no I’m not leaving things between us like this; fuck that.
