Lauren had opted for a quick shower instead of soaking in a hot tub. If she took too long, Ava would no doubt start the party in the bathroom.
Why did she think they’d leave her alone this New Year’s Eve? They hadn’t for the past eight years. It was Jade and Ava who’d helped pull her out of the darkest night of her life—the night she had lost her precious baby girl.
Lauren met the girls while attending the University of Sydney. Both her and Ava had been studying law, while Jade had been studying to be a primary school teacher. A solid and close friendship developed immediately. They were as close as sisters; in Lauren’s case, closer.
She hadn’t spoken to her older sister Belinda in months and was thankful for that.
A soft knock sounded before Jade popped her head around the bedroom door, concern creasing her brow. “Everything okay in here?”
Hanging her clothes on the back of the chair, Lauren nodded and tried to smile to reassure Jade, but the ache in her heart made it too difficult.
“Oh, Lauren.” Jade sighed as she sat on the edge of the bed. “It kills me to see you so sad.
What can I do to help?”
“Just being here is all the help I need.” Lauren picked up Jade’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
Eight years ago she’d sat amongst a happy crowd of New Year’s Eve revelers. A display of red, green, and gold fireworks had exploded above her head, falling like rain, but she never saw its brilliance. The people around her laughed, danced, kissed—and made promises they never intended to keep—but those things were as far away from Lauren as the stars in the sky.
Lauren had sat on a prickly patch of grass and waited for the pain to come. Wishing for it to consume her, wanting it to rip through her body with the force of a sledgehammer. Anything would’ve been better than the dull emptiness that had spread through her body like an evil disease. She’d wanted to cry, yell...grieve, but her body wouldn’t do what her mind screamed for it to do.
Hersisterswere her rock, and they always knew when Lauren needed them the most.
New Year’s Eve was always one of those days.
Jade narrowed her eyes. “You don’t have to pretend for us.”
“I know. I’m fine, really. I’m ready to have a drink and unwind.” She pointed toward the
door. “You’d better get back out there before Ava drinks all the alcohol.”
Jade laughed. “Don’t worry, we brought enough to last until next New Year’s Eve.” She pushed herself up from the bed. “But I better go and supervise just in case.” Lauren gave Jade a quick hug and whispered, “Thank you.” “Anytime,” Jade said, giving her a squeeze.
After she left Lauren pulled out a small, wooden box from her chest of drawers. It contained a small, soft beanie, a baby pink wrap covered with butterflies, and an ultrasound photo. Lauren picked up the fuzzy black-and-white picture, its edges worn from being held so many times, and looked at the precious baby she’d lost. Eight years ago to the day she’d given birth to a stillborn baby girl, but the gut-wrenching pain and sadness still smothered her and tore at her heart like it happened only yesterday. She had wanted to give her daughter all the love and attention a child deserved. Everything her own mother never gave her.
When Lauren was born, her father left before her first nappy had even been changed, and her mother, Dorothy, blamed his departure on Lauren. Dorothy was either passed out or too drunk to ever show Lauren any kind of affection. There had been no loving kisses before bedtime and no soothing cuddles after waking from a bad dream. She never asked about her day at school nor was she interested in anything Lauren achieved. Not once did she tell Lauren she loved her.
The day Lauren found out she was pregnant, she made the stupid decision of telling her mother and sister, hoping that for once in her life she’d get some support. She was nineteen and needed them. Instead of help and support, Belinda laughed so hard tears streamed down her face, while telling Lauren she’d lived up to being the big slut she always knew she was. Lauren had never understood why her sister had been so hostile toward her. It was most likely Dorothy’s damaging influence.
Dorothy had flopped down on the threadbare, stain-covered sofa, lit a cigarette, and told her she didn’t want a screaming brat living in the house. That she wanted Lauren gone before the thing was born. Lauren hadn’t waited; that same day she packed up her few measly belongings and left the run-down house of misery and the people living in it. They were never truly a family and never would be. She’d run straight to Ava, Jade, then Lillian, who let her move into the apartment above her garage. Lillian became the loving mother she’d never had and Ava and Jade her loyal sisters. Their blood may not run through her veins, but these were the people she would die for.
Lauren gently kissed the photo, and with one last loving look, placed it back in the box, wondering if the pain would ever fade.
It was time to join her friends. She couldn’t stay in her room all night. Though Lauren knew if she wanted to sit and cry, they would cry with her. If she wanted to be cheered up, they would be the clowns. Or if she wanted to get plastered so she didn’t have to think at all, they would pass her the bottle. But she’d had enough of crying. She wanted to enjoy the company of her beautiful friends and for once celebrate the New Year.
* * * *
Empty bottles and packets of chips littered Lauren’s glass coffee table as the three women sat around drinking and laughing long after the clock struck midnight. The new year had begun and they hadn’t noticed. They’d finished their fourth bottle of Merlot and where now into the Midori and pineapple juice.
Ava tucked her feet up on the sofa and pointed a wobbly finger at Lauren and Jade. Tonight she had dressed in figure-hugging black jeans and a cherry red crop top. Her silky, black, chin-length hair, which she’d tucked behind a diamond-studded ear, didn’t have a strand out of place. Ava always looked immaculate everywhere she went. Even drunk, she couldn’t look disheveled if she tried. “Do you realize that I haven’t had a boyfriend in years?” Ava asked.
“Not that I’m complaining—who wants to have the same guy in your life every day?”
Jade rolled her eyes. “Ava, you’ve had too much to drink. You’ve had heaps of boyfriends. It was only last week you were sleeping with…with…what was his name?” She tapped the side of her head with her index finger like it would somehow improve her memory.
Auburn curls sprung loose from a hair clip and bounced uncontrollably around her face. Unlike Ava’s immaculate appearance, Jade’s floral, long skirt was rumpled, and her top was pulled out from the waistband of the skirt.
“Greg,” supplied Lauren at the same time Jade pointed a finger in the air and said, “Aha!
