“That’s okay. I know I’m safe with you.” Her smile drops, and a line creases her forehead.
Is she thinking about the times we’ve been intimate, and I’ve stopped before it went too far? God, I fucked up. I wish I could tell her how much it killed me to pull away. But now is not the time. Not when she’s looking like she’s going to pass out.
Alyssa slips into bed. I pull the covers to her shoulders. “Is there anything I can get you? Water…something to eat?”
She screws her nose up. “The thought of food makes me want to throw up.”
“You still feel nauseous?” Should I take her to the hospital after all?
“No, just a little queasy. Nothing to worry about. I’m fine.” She gives me an assuring, sleepy smile as her eyes blink heavily.
Curling onto her side, she tucks her hands under her chin. Her eyes flutter closed and don’t open again. A moment later, I hear the soft sounds of deep breathing. She’s asleep.
I stay by the side of the bed and watch her. Her dark brown hair is splayed across the pillow. Her face is soft with sleep. It’s so easy to imagine waking up to her every morning. My heart squeezes in my chest like it knows something that I don’t.
Chapter Eighteen
ALYSSA
My heavy eyelids blink open. The room is dark. Something hot around my waist and over my leg is anchoring me into the mattress. Soft breathing fans my face.
It takes me a second to remember where I am. In Hayden’s hotel room. In his bed. With Hayden draped over me! During the night, we’ve turned to each other. I should slide out from his embrace. Surely, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. If he did, he’d probably spring from the bed and run out of the room. Isn’t that what he does anytime he gets too close?
Instead of moving, I take a moment to soak this in. When will I ever get this chance again? Never. Not with the way he keeps pushing me away.
As much as I would love to stay in this position, I need to pee. I try to lift Hayden’s arm off my waist only for him to take a stronger hold, pulling me closer. Again, I try to move his arm, and again, he holds me tight.
“Where are you going?” he mumbles. “You feel so good. Never leave me.”
I freeze. Does he understand what he’s saying? My eyes have adjusted to the dark, and with the soft glow of the digital clock on the nightstand, I can see his eyes are closed. Is he talking in his sleep?
“Hayden,” I whisper so not to startle him awake. “I need to use the bathroom.”
“Want you here. Don’t go.” He rubs our noses together and then plants a soft kiss on my lips. Now I know he must be sleeping.
Nudging his shoulder, I say louder, “Hayden, wake up.”
He tucks me under him and rolls over the top, burying his face in my neck. “Don’t leave me. Never leave me.”
His mouth sucks at my neck, his tongue licking over my racing pulse. Oh, it feels so good having his lips on me. I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation. If he’s sleeping, I should try harder to wake him up. And I will…in a second.
Hayden nestles between my thighs. My legs voluntarily open, and I welcome the feel of his erection pressing against my sex. I will wake him…
When his hands float up my torso, under my t-shirt, and cups my breasts, my back arches off the bed. God, this feels so good. But it’s so wrong.Stop, Alyssa. Stop!Instead, I grip onto his hips, digging my nails into his skin, pressing myself firmer to where our bodies meet. I’m burning up—this time not from a fever. I want more.Cravemore. Hayden’s warm breath fans over my neck, and his hand ghosts down my stomach and slides behind the waistband of my boxers.
“I fucking need you,” he groans against my neck. “More than anything.”
We agree on the same thing. Yet this is wrong. I need to stop what’s about to happen. Before he can slide his fingers into thespot I desperately want him, I shake myself out of the haze of lust I’ve fallen into. The man isn’t lucid. He could be dreaming of someone else.
Is that why he pulls away from me? Because there’s another woman? What a stab to the heart that thought is.
Pulling his hand out of my boxers, I shake his shoulder. “Hayden, wake up.”
Hayden’s head lifts and he stares down at me, confusion lining his features. A second later, understanding shoots from his eyes, and he rolls to the side and springs from the bed to his feet, raking his fingers through his hair. “Fuck. What did I do?”
I sit up and tuck my legs under me. “Not much.”
Scrubbing his hands over his face, he says, “I was on top of you.”
