I thrust harder and pinch her nibbles. “Yes! Yes!” she cries. Her body is trembling. She’s ready. A second later, she spasms and falls apart. “Hayden!”
One thrust…two…and I’m gone.
As soon as I catch my breath, my body stiffens.Fuck!What I’ve done explodes in my head. How could I have been so careless? Wrapped up in the moment, and half-asleep, I wasn’tthinking straight. I spring into a sitting position and look down at Alyssa lying on her back with a satisfied smile on her face. Her smile drops as she looks at me.
“What’s wrong?” She sits up next to me.
I jump from the bed, pick up my jeans off the floor and shove my legs into them. I don’t bother buttoning them up. “I forgot to use a condom.”
“I’m on the pill, remember.”
“It doesn’t always work.” I link my fingers behind my neck and pace the room.
Sliding off the bed, she walks over to me. “Neither does a condom, yet we still had sex.”
I stop pacing. “It was safer with two forms of contraception.”
“It will be okay,” she says reassuringly.
Dropping my hands by my side, I shake my head. “How can you be so sure?”
She links her fingers with mine. “The pill is highly successful at preventing pregnancies.”
“So are condoms, and look what happened with Rachel,” I reply. Alyssa jerks back like I’ve slapped her. Regretting the words immediately, I say, “I didn’t mean—” She steps away. “I shouldn’t have said that.” I want to pull her into my arms and let her know I’m sorry. But based on her stiff posture and the way she’s glaring at me, it’s not a great idea.
“A pregnancy is the last thing I want. I have my career to think about. A baby doesn’t fit into my schedule.” Snatching her t-shirt off the floor, she yanks it on. Next, she grabs her boots and shoves them under her arm.
“Alyssa, I’m sorry.” I feel like the biggest jerk reacting the way I did and for what I said to her.
“Yeah, so am I for thinking you wanted more between us.” She spins on her heels and marches from the bedroom.
“Please understand where this is coming from,” I call out after her.
She stops and turns around. “I do. You had a life-changing experience. Something so difficult it scarred you. The cause was with a woman you met at a nightclub and had a one-night stand with. Tonight, you told me…” Her hand presses against her chest. “You told me you loved me. That you wanted to tell Lily about us.”
“I do lo—”
She holds up her hand, stopping me from saying more. “Maybe you should think about what you really want before you tell Lily about us. Because if we continue this relationship, there’ll always be the risk of a pregnancy. Protection is not one-hundred percent effective.”
“This all came out wrong.” God, I have royally fucked this up.
“Really? So, the thought of me getting pregnant doesn’t scare the bejesus out of you? You haven’t thought, even for a split second, that I might dump a baby on you?”
Dropping my head, I stare at my feet. I’m ashamed to admit that I did.
She sighs. “Maybe I need to think about what I want too. Because at the moment, this isn’t it.”
Fuck! How did this night turn from being the best of my life to utter shit? When everything was so perfect? ExceptI’mnot perfect. In a blink of an eye, I’ve destroyed everything.
Alyssa hesitates at the threshold of the door like she’s waiting for me to say something. Fix what I’ve fucked up. When I say nothing, she turns to leave.
This time, I don’t stop her.
Chapter Twenty-Four
ALYSSA
Aweek later, I’m in the studio getting ready for ballet class. Nikki is still demonstrating most of the dance routines even though my ankle is better. I could probably teach the lesson myself, but after getting a callback from my audition I don’t want to risk flaring up the injury.
