My hand trembles like the phone weighs a ton. Oh God. This is it. This call will determine my life. “Yes, speaking.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Good, thank you.”
“Any headaches or nausea?”
“Getting better every day.” Except for the trip to the toilet bowl this morning.
“And you’re resting?”
“Yes.”Please get to the point of the call already!
“That’s good to hear. Now, I have your blood test results, and they have come back positive. Congratulations, you’re pregnant,” he announces, confirming my suspicions. “Youshould make an appointment with an OB/GYN to discuss prenatal care.”
The doctor keeps speaking, but all I can hear is a buzzing sound in my ears. I’m pregnant!Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!Even though I suspected it, having it confirmed has turned my world spinning.
When he asks if I have any questions, I snap back to attention. I tell him I don’t and say goodbye. Ending the call, I drop the phone onto my lap and stare sightlessly at the ground.What am I going to do?
“Was that the hospital?” Harper asks with concern.
I nod. My head is heavy, feeling like it might roll off my shoulders.
“Is everything okay? Oh my God! Are you pregnant?”
I turn to look at her. Tears well in my eyes. I nod again. It’s like I’ve lost the ability to speak.
“Oh, Alyssa. I’m not sure what to say. This should be wonderful news. But judging by the shell-shocked expression on your face, I’m not sure if you think so.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I’m not sure it is either.”
Harper puts an arm over my shoulder, pulling me in for a side hug. “What are you going to do?”
“Sit here forever.” The sun is shining. It’s a beautiful day. The shade of the nearby tree is keeping me cool. This is a nice spot to live.
“Then after that, what will you do?”
“Did you miss the part where I said forever? I’m not moving!”
“I’m sure it will be comfortable living, giving birth, and raising a baby on a park bench.”
“It will be character building.” I know I’m talking shit. I can’t think about the reality of my life just yet.
“Seriously, what are you going to do? When will you tell Hayden?”
I sigh heavily, lean forward, rest my elbows on my knees, and drop my chin on my hands. “I don’t know. If I tell him about the pregnancy, how will he will react? He doesn’t want this. Hearing him say it to my face will destroy me.”
“Maybe he’ll react better than you think.”
I scrub my hands over my face. “He knows I’m going to London. He’ll only think I’m leaving him with a baby.”
“Not if you reassure him that won’t happen.”
I toss up my hands. “I shouldn’t have to reassure him. If he knew anything about me, reallylovedme, he’d know that.”
Harper pulls a sympathetic face. “Talk to him.”
“I need time to think things over.”
