Harper looks around the room. “This apartment will not be the same without you. We had some great memories here.”
“It was never the same after you left.” I sniff.
Giving me a kiss on the cheek and a hug, Harper pulls away and swipes a tear from her eye. My throat clogs up with emotion. “I can’t wait to see you take on your new adventure.”
I give a watery smile. “Thank you. You’ve been so amazing through all of this. I can’t imagine doing this without your help. I love having you in my life.”
Harper waves a hand. “Stop! You’ll make me cry.”
Laughing, I say, “You’re already crying.”
“There’s something in my eye,” she jokes.
I lean over the baby carrier sitting on the couch and look at Avery. Her eyes are blinking heavily with sleep. Rubbing a finger on her soft cheek, I blow her a kiss. “See you soon, sweetie.”
“Well, I better go,” Harper says. “Let me know when you’re settled. I’ll visit as soon as I can.”
“I will.”
After we say goodbye and she leaves, I stare at my apartment. I’ve had great times here. I’ve had sad times too. Nights thinking about and yearning for Hayden are some of the most difficult of my life.
I shake myself out of my melodrama. I’ve cried enough tears for that man. I don’t have time to wallow in the past. I have myfuture to think about. It starts now. Picking up the luggage bag I need for now, I turn the lights off and lock the door behind me.
Time for a new life.
Time to forget the old one.
Two steps into my new life and the old one knocks the air from my lungs. From the bottom of the stairs, Hayden is staring up at me. My heart gallops in my chest. Will I ever get over him? I can tell myself it’s only a matter of time, but everything in my body is telling me I’m lying to myself. He’s forever stuck in my memories.
“What are you doing here?” I ask in a low, shaky voice.
His gaze flicks to the luggage in my hand. He doesn’t answer, instead asks, “Are you leaving for London?”
I place the bag on the floor. I’m not telling him where I’m going until he answers my question. “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you—talk to you before you leave.” There’s a note of desperation to his voice.
“There’s nothing left to say.” I can’t keep hashing out all the reasons we can’t be together. It’s too painful. Standing here looking at him hurts enough. I can’t listen to him reject me again.
He drops his head, and when he looks back at me, there’s sadness filling his eyes. “Please, Alyssa. There’s so much I need to say. Things I should have said weeks ago. Can we go inside?”
How can I refuse when he’s looking so vulnerable? I nod for him to come up. With my keys in my hand, I turn around and unlock the door. He takes the steps two at a time and follows me into the apartment. As he brushes past me, his citrusy scent surrounds me, making me want to bury my nose in his neck and breathe him in.
Placing my luggage bag at my feet, I stay next to the door in case the conversation gets too intense and I need a quickgetaway. Steeling myself, I clasp my hands in front of me and ask, “What do you want to talk about?”
Hayden glances around the room filled with boxes. “You really are leaving?”
I nod. “Hayden, please tell me why you’re here? I have a lot to do.” And I’m about to fall apart. This is too much. I can’t be in the same room with him anymore.
He rubs the back of his neck. “I fucked up. Badly.”
Yeah, you broke my freaking heart.
He takes two steps toward me then stops, like he’s unsure if he should get closer. Slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he says, “I screwed things up between us. Made you believe that my love for you came with conditions. What I should have realized, what mygutwas telling me was to hold onto you and never let go. Because you’re my everything. My heartbeat. My breath. My soul. I’ve never wanted to open my heart to anyone until you literally fell at my feet, filling my life with so much love. Like a fool, I didn’t trust myself with it. Thought you deserved better. With you in my life, I’m a better man.”
My heart trembles, my legs shake, and I lock my knees to stay standing. “What are you saying?”
Anguish is etched on Hayden’s face. “You opened up your heart, not only to me but for Lily, who adores you. My life is with you. I can’t breathe when we’re not together. Twinkle Toes, I love you.”
