AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No, I get it,” I say. “I feel the same way.”
A breeze blows my hair into my face and I shake it away. Looking at Sean, I see his happiness—to him this is obviously the beginning of something. But to me, everything about this night—from the stars to the colors to the rock anthem on the sound system now that the band is done to the perfect feeling in my low belly—is nothing but tomorrow’s memory. It’s nothing but what could have been.
It’s nothing.
“I’m glad you feel the same way,” Sean says, straightening up and glancing down at the field. “Now we just have to figure out how we can hang out.” He squeezes my hand, and then, when I don’t offer a solution, changes the subject. “I got a great picture of you tonight.”
“I saw your pictures on Facebook,” I say. Then I remember…
“Did you go out with Grayson?” I ask.
“Gray?” Sean says, surprised. “No, no. We’re just friends. We’ve lived across the street from each other since middle school.”
I nod, then look down at the field; a few cheerleaders are already returning to our spot. I feel my twenty-minute date slipping away, and with it, all hope of having anything with Sean.
“It’s almost over,” I say sadly.
Sean looks at me, concerned. He can hear it in my voice. Maybe he does know me after all.
“What do you—”
“Sean?”
“Yeah?”
“Kiss me.”
He looks surprised, but I stand strong instead of shrinking. I might be imagining it, but I think I feel Ella and Betsey supporting me. Pushing me forward. For the first time, I feel entitled—I’ve gone along with Mom’s plan for seven years without stepping out of line. Now, if she tells me I can’t date Sean—if this is really my one chance—I’m damn well taking it.
Sean doesn’t say anything else. He takes a step toward me and puts one palm on my jawbone. He rubs my cheek with his thumb, then bends slightly and presses his warm lips to mine. We stay like that a moment, barely touching, barely breathing. Then he tilts his head and wraps his other hand around my back and our mouths open in unison and we kiss like a perfect first kiss should be. When he pulls away just a few inches and looks into my eyes, I grab a fistful of his sweatshirt so he won’t go yet. I realize that his left hand is still clutching my low back. He doesn’t want me to move, either.
Standing there under the brilliant sky, just out of reach of the field’s floodlights, I am afraid that I’ll never have anything like this again. I feel tears fill my eyes. Sean doesn’t ask what’s wrong; he doesn’t even look surprised. He just wipes away what falls and kisses my tear tracks.
“We should go back,” I whisper.
He nods. “Can I call you tonight after the game?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. Mom shouldn’t be home, but sometimes she does the unexpected.
I can feel the questions radiating from him, but he doesn’t ask anything. He just takes my hand and leads me back toward the entrance. But before we step out of the darkness, he turns quickly and kisses me again. Our lips are closed, but he presses into me so hard I have to put a hand on the wall to steady myself. He steps back and holds my gaze.
“I feel like…” I begin, trailing off because I’m not sure what I want to say. Instead, I plant my hand on his chest, right over his heart. He lets it stay there a moment, then pries it away and kisses my palm.
“Me, too,” he says, turning to go.
“Sean?”
“Yeah?” He looks at me expectantly, and it makes me feel equal parts elated and crushed. Right now, I’m not sure whether having just a taste of him was worth it. And yet, even if it’s a bad idea, I give him just a little bit more.
“You can call me Lizzie.”
nine
It’s eleven.
It’s midnight.
