AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I take several deep breaths to try to calm myself, but when it doesn’t work, I get up for water. I walk into the hallway, and Ella’s opening her door, looking fearful.
“What happened?” she asks, seconds before Betsey opens hers.
“I just had a bad dream,” I say to both of them. “Sorry if I woke you up.”
“Are you okay?” Betsey asks, coming closer and touching my arm. “You look really pale.”
“Maybe I’m getting sick or something.” Truthfully, it’s more likely that I’m lovesick.
“No, really, Lizzie, what’s up?” Ella asks. The concern in her voice brings tears to my eyes.
“I’m just… I’m losing Sean,” I say, which doesn’t make sense, since I’m not allowed to date him in the first place. But somehow it does to me. And they can feel my emotion: It makes sense to them, too.
“I’m so sorry,” Betsey says, hugging me. “I wish I knew how to solve it.”
Something I’ve been thinking about but haven’t had the guts to bring up just falls out of my mouth now. “I want to tell him,” I say into her shoulder. Betsey pulls back and looks at me, surprised.
“What are you talking about?” Ella asks, surprised, too, and a little snippy. “There’s no way that you’re saying you want to tell him about… us. Right?”
I wipe under my eyes and look from Ella to Betsey without saying anything.
“Wow,” Betsey mutters as Ella’s mouth drops.
“You can’t be serious,” Ella says. “Mom would have a fit of infinite proportions.”
“If she found out,” I say.
“We’ve never told anyone,” Bet says. “At least I haven’t.” She looks at us funny. “Have you guys?”
“No!” Ella says definitively.
“No,” I say. “I’ve never liked anyone enough to want to tell them.” I look at Ella. “I mean, don’t you sort of want to tell Dave? To let him know you for you?”
“I’d be lying if I said the thought hasn’t crossed my mind,” Ella says, folding her arms over her chest, “but I’d never do it. We made a pact.”
“When we were kids,” Betsey says, and I can tell she’s on my side.
“Still,” Ella says, “we could get Mom into serious trouble. And if she goes to jail, what happens to us? Mom’s parents are dead—we have no family. Do we go into foster care? Or does the government take us into custody and examine us like lab rats for the rest of our lives? I just don’t think it’s worth it.”
“You watch too much TV,” I say, smiling a little to ease the tension. “And besides, those things would only be a concern if Sean told someone else. Which he wouldn’t.”
“You hardly know him,” Ella says. “How do you know you can trust him? That we can trust him?”
“I just know.” I can’t help but smile because it’s the truth. “I just have this feeling; I’m positive that he’ll keep our secret.” I pause, searching the faces that I know by heart because they’re copies of my own. “I want to tell him, both for him and for me. I want to let him in.”
We’re all quiet for a few moments; the house creaks like it’s joining the conversation. In the end, there are no more words spoken. But the look on Betsey’s face, then the subtle nod from Ella, tell me that tonight at this haphazard meeting in the dark hallway, we three have made a major decision for ourselves for perhaps the first time in our lives. I know without words that they’re okay with it.
We’re telling Sean; we’re letting someone else in.
And we’re doing it whether Mom likes it or not.
thirteen
“What are you doing right now?” I ask, blocking Sean’s path out of the classroom. My phone’s in my hand, the email from Betsey still on the screen.
She left early. You’re in the clear.
