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On the way home, we decide to wait and see what Grayson does at school. If she asks about it—which I hope she won’t—we’ve got a story ready. If she doesn’t, we’re in the clear.
With Ella’s “freaking stupid” comments all the way home, by the time we arrive, I don’t feel like hanging out anymore. I take two pieces of pizza to my room and call Sean. As it rings, I worry about Mom seeing his number on the bill, but I ignore the thought in favor of Sean’s voice.
“Lizzie B.,” he says, like he’s been waiting for me.
“Hey,” I say, melting onto the bed.
“Hi,” he says, and I can hear his smile through the phone. “I still have sand in my pockets.”
“I still haven’t washed my T-shirt,” I admit, gripping the phone like it’s a fish trying to squirm away from me.
“You look good in it,” he says. “You should wear it every day.”
“I’m not sure the others would go for that,” I say, happy that I can talk about Ella and Betsey. Happy that he knows about them.
Sean and I are quiet for a couple of seconds, listening to each other’s stillness. And then: “So, I have to talk to you about something,” I say, remembering a conversation from earlier.
“Something else?” Sean asks, and even though he’s joking, I can hear his nervousness. “Should I be worried?”
“I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, but you might.”
“Why? What is it?”
“Well, you know that our mom will only let us date Dave,” I say slowly.
“Yeah, but I sort of assumed…” Sean’s words trail off. This is what I was afraid of: that he’d think I could simply start dating him instead. “You’re going to keep seeing him, aren’t you?” he says, voice dipped in jealousy.
“Well, it’s not like I like him,” I say. “But it’s that or nothing. And dating anyone is a step in the right direction.” I sigh. “Besides, it’s not me who’s dating him. I just have to tolerate him at school.”
“You’re not exactly selling me here, Lizzie,” Sean says quietly.
“My… the others and I talked about it, and we think there’s a way for us to date both of you at once.”
“Won’t your mom know?” he asks.
“Not if we’re careful.”
“I don’t like this,” Sean says. “What about at school when you’re with Dave? I’m just supposed to pretend I don’t care when you’re holding his hand in the hallway?”
“I don’t hold his hand in the hallway.”
“Ella probably does,” he says.
I blow my hair out of my eyes, frustrated. Getting to know Sean shouldn’t have to be this complicated. I don’t answer because I don’t know what to say.
“So, what are we doing then, Lizzie?” he asks seriously.
“I…” I begin. “I’m not sure.” When I hear him tsk on the other end of the line, I hastily add, “But I know what I want to be doing.”
“Okay,” he says. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Will we?” I ask, feeling hopeful and defeated at the same time.
“Yeah,” he says, surprising me by sounding sure. “We will.”
sixteen
Monday at the switch, Betsey follows me outside to meet Ella. Even though it’s lunchtime, she’s still wearing pajamas. I hear her fuzzy slippers shhshhshhshh on the walkway behind me.
