His words hit their target as a dull pulse starts between my legs. I pocket my phone without responding. My retort needs to set him on fire. And right now I’m so flustered my fingers can barely form a bow to tie off my apron. Getting used to this bossy, uber-sexy side of him is going to take me a minute, but I’m not mad about it. Not at all.
The words he said earlier replay in my head, “Carrying around this tension all day isn’t going to feel good, but you’re not going to touch yourself.” He’s right, I’m not going to. He painted quite the picture of how delicious that build up will be when I finally get him alone tonight. Cruz might not realize it, but he’s unlocked a part of me I didn’t know existed.
Since I was a child, baking has been something that helped me clear my head. As early as I can remember, my gran came over, without fail, every Sunday and we spent the morning baking while my parents went out for a day date. She passed away when I was fourteen and Pops stepped in to fill her shoes, helping me launch the early version ofBuns & Rosefrom their kitchen. Back then, I only baked treats for friends and family. The one thing that has never wavered is how at peace I feel in the kitchen. Whether I’m making a favorite recipe or experimenting with something new. There is nothing serene about the way I feel right now.
Mikey has called me out more than once for the far-off look in my eyes, scolding me for drooling. It’s pointless. I shift gears, giving up any hopes of perfecting the “Everything but the kitchen sink” cookie bars I was working on and turning them into regular old cookie bars with the addition of M&M’s.
“What did you do with your hunky baseball player while you were gone? You have that glazed over lusty look in your eyes.”
“Do not.” My protest is so weak, not even I’m convinced. I caught sight of myself in the reflective surface of the espresso machine earlier. Mikey’s right, I so do. There’s no denying my dazed eyes and slightly parted mouth. It’s been this way all afternoon.
Heat crawls up my neck as I recall the way Cruz spoke to me earlier. I knew he had a filthy mouth, but I didn’t expect him to take it this far. Not that I’m complaining, it’s the best kind of torture.
“Okay. Whatever you say. You’re thinking of him now, aren’t you?” Mikey says with a laugh as he wipes down the counters. “Yeah, you are. That man has big dick energy and you’re ready to ride.”
“He does, doesn’t he? How come I never noticed it before?” I wonder out loud, completely ignoring his very accurate innuendo.
It’s a mistake. Mikey loves gossip, and he’s like a dog with a bone, unwilling to let it go.
“You know how race horses wear blinders, so they can’t see anything but what they’re supposed to be focused on. That was you with Cruz. He was your friend, and you refused to see anything outside those boundaries. Like how hard he’s been pining for you all these years.”
“What? Pining for me? No, that’s not right.”
“For. Years. Delilah,” Mikey says, drawing out the words and tossing his rag down with a dumbfounded look.
The door to the shop opens and Willa walks in. Looking adorable as hell in a pair of comfy bike shorts and an oversized concert shirt. She’s taking a shift tonight to prep for the morning. Which means I don’t need to be up early because Mikey is opening, and she’ll have all the baking done.
“Willa, help me out,” Mikey calls dramatically. “What vibes do you get from Cruz?”
Willa looks between us for a moment nervously. “It’s fine. You can say what you think.” I reassure her. I can’t imagine she expected to walk into this tonight.
“Daddy vibes.”
My mouth falls open. That is not what I was expecting to come out of her mouth. “Um, what now?”
“And who are they aimed at?” Mikey asks, putting Willa on the spot.
“Lilah, you really don’t see this?” Willa asks, her head tilted to the side. She may have been reluctant initially, but she’s all in now.
“I do now, but I didn’t before.”
“That man has been after you for years. All that sexy energy has always been aimed at you. Think about it, babe. He makes sure you have someone walking with you to the stadium for games. Does he ever let you walk home alone or even take an Uber?”
“No, but that’s because of Jarrett.”
“Maybe that’s why it started, but he’s possessive of you. He’s always got a hand on you when you’re together. Like being within arm’s reach keeps you safe. It’s not a bad thing, but it is probably heightened because of his past,” Willa chimes in. When she met him and asked me how recently he had lost someone. She’s incredibly observant as a grad student pursuing a master’s for counseling with hopes to open a practice that focuses on kids dealing with loss.
“Do you think he’s still struggling more than he lets on?”
“I can’t answer that. I don’t know him well enough to give an opinion, but I think you probably know the answer.”
I think back to earlier when we heard the song in the park and the way he froze up. Losing Jarrett was devastating. He lost his brother, his best friend, and his future teammate. They had big plans together. Then to have no answers about what exactly happened that night and how Jarrett ended up in the hospital. It messes with his head especially this close to the anniversary. There’s no closure.
“How did we go from me blushing about you two calling him daddy, to this?” I drop my head into my hands.
“Loving Cruz isn’t going to be the hard part. There’s still a lot of pain buried in there under that fun, sexy, best friend package. Not everything with him is going to be easy,” Mikey adds. He’s known Cruz almost as long as I have and spends enough time with him aroundBuns & Rosesto have some perspective.
“Who said anything about love?”
