“I can’t. This isn’t just about me or even Jarrett. Delilah deserves the best version of me and I need this closure to be that guy for her.” The lamp next to me rattles as thunder cracks angrily outside, making everything vibrate. It mimics the turmoil I feel inside as I wait for word from Rich.
“What if this doesn’t go the way you want, Cruz?” The question comes out uncharacteristically soft for Hendrix. I don’t want anyone to handle me like I’m breakable, but I understand why he tempers it. It’s a question that’s been haunting me since I got on the plane alone. If this all goes to shit, will it still be worth it? Will I regret the decision I made, knowing it’s hurting her?
“Then it’s done. I stop looking for the answers. Finding out what happened that night wasn’t the only promise I made to him. I’m not living up to the other promise to live my life to the fullest if I’m putting my future on hold. He wouldn’t want that.”
“You just walk away?” The question is colored with surprise.
“I just walk away. She’s my future. Jarrett’s gone—” My voice breaks and I clear my throat trying to keep my composure. “Delilah’s not and I can’t risk losing her. I told her in the beginning we could be friends if this didn’t work out.” I laugh maniacally, knowing now how stupid that was. This thing with Delilah is all or nothing. There’s no way I could go back to just being her friend. It would tear me apart.
“That was really fucking dumb,” Hendrix agrees as the lights in the hotel room flicker. The storm is really raging.
“No kidding. If it’s up to me, it won’t matter because I never plan on losing her.” Saying it out loud only makes me want to call her more.
There’s a beep indicating another call, just as I am about to say goodbye to Hendrix so I can call Delilah. I know I said I would give her space, but fuck it, I miss her. I pull the phone from my ear, torn between wanting it to be her and knowing it’s probably Rich. It’s the latter.
“That’s Rich calling with an update. I gotta go. Later Hen. Thanks for checking in.” My stomach flops with anxiety as I switch the call over.
“Tell me you have good news,” I ask over the sound of the rain slapping against the building.
“Shit. Hold on.” Rich goes quiet and the only noise coming through the speaker on my phone is distant thunder and the slap of rapid footfalls against wet pavement. “Sorry, this weather is nuts. The sky opened up on me and I had to make a run for it.”
“Have you made any progress on her phone or the journals?” My fingers drum against my leg impatiently, the nerves causing the walls of the hotel to feel like they are closing in.
“Listen, Cruz, I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I want you to be prepared for this to move fast. One of my guys is going to fly down to Miami to turn everything over to them as soon as he can get a plane out.”
I swallow, suddenly at a loss for words. The space between my ears is filled with a buzzing sensation.
“Cruz, are you there?”
“Yeah,” I say, letting my head fall back against the chair I dropped into while I was talking to Hendrix. “You’re sure.”
“Pretty sure. You might want to call your parents and prepare them. Once this goes to the police, there’s no guarantee it stays out of the news.”
That’s a conversation that I’ve been putting off since the mystery calls from Miller’s ex started coming in. They deserve to hear this from me. “Okay. I can do that today. Did you find anything new?”
“Victoria’s a smart girl and not someone who’s bad side I’d want to get on. She’s been documenting everything and saving all this to bury him if things went south between them. Not that the asshole doesn’t deserve it.”
“Why the hell didn’t she come forward sooner?” I ask, my voice taking on an angry edge. She sat on this for years. My family could have had closure right away instead of waiting all this time.
“She was in a hard spot. I’m not sure the extent of it, but he was emotionally abusive at a minimum,” he says with a sigh.
Fuck, I hate Miller. He deserves all the pain that is coming his way. My blood boils with rage that he’s been behind this the whole time. Living his life playing on the team that Jarrett should have been on. All this fucking time without paying for his role in my brother’s death. “Do whatever you have to. I want him to pay.” The words come out cold and detached.
I want to break something. If I were home, I would head straight to the cage and kill a few buckets of balls. Even if I could do that here, it’s not allowed. All I can do is sit in this room and stew. I stand from the bed, pacing the small hotel room. The energy inside swirling like the wind outside.
“I’ll do everything in my power to see he’s held accountable for any role he had in Jarrett’s death.”
“Thanks Rich, keep me updated. I’m going to call my parents.” I disconnect the call, cocking my arm like I might fire the phone against the wall. My teeth grind as I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting off the headache that’s blooming behind my forehead.
“Fuck!” I yell to no one. I don’t have the luxury of being able to throw a tantrum right now. Drawing in three deep measured breaths in I rein myself back in remembering why I am doing all this: Jarrett and Delilah.
There’s practically a path worn down the middle of the room before I feel like I’ve got myself calm enough to call my parents.
Chapter 42
Girls to the Rescue
Present
