“I always pictured you with someone less . . .” She tilts her head side to side, searching for the word.
“Broody?” I offer.
“I was going to say grumpy, but that doesn’t feel right either.”
“He can be grumpy,” I admit. “But it’s deeper than that. More complicated.”
Her expression softens slightly. “And it’s not just good sex.”
“No.” The answer comes too fast–too honest. “It’s not.”
The words tangle together as I try to explain something I’m not even sure I fully understand yet. “I just . . . feel different with him. More comfortable. More myself. And he pays attention to everything.”
My chest tightens around the truth of it.
“No one’s ever made me feel this cared for before.”
“Okay. Wow. This is serious then.”
I bite my lip. “He has a whole life outside Timberline Peak—his job, his grandmother. Things he has to go back to.” I drop my head into my hands. “Is it fair to want him to stay?” My voice is quiet as I let the fear that’s been eating at me loose.
“Of course it’s fair,” Tessa says. “You’re allowed to take up space in the relationships you enter. But people get used to putting you last when you keep doing it first.”
Her point lands like getting bucked off a horse.
“Jesus, Tess, didn’t know we were going to hurt my feelings this morning,” I balk.
“I’m not saying it to make you feel bad.”
I wave her off. “I know. It only stings because you’re right.”
“How hard you love is one of the best things about you. I just want to see you give the same grace to yourself that you give to everyone else. Be a little selfish for once,” my friend adds.
“And what does Emmett want?”
I stare down at my hands. “I don’t think it’s that simple with him.”
Because wanting something and believing you deserve it aren’t always the same thing.
“He asked me to go with him to Coyote Creek today,” I add quietly. “That feels big.”
“Ah, yes the emotionally unavailable hot guy with hidden depths. I’m familiar with the type.” She sighs. “When you’ve closed yourself off as much as it sounds like he has, letting people see your vulnerable side is huge.”
I’m not entirely sure this conversation is still only about Emmett and am about to say as much when she adds, “In my experience, people get surprisingly honest when they’re trapped in a vehicle with you.”
My smile spreads. “I don’t know, it’ll be hard to talk with the top off the Jeep.”
“Seriosuly though, what’s up with the Jeep?”
“He surprised me by rebuilding a lot of it over the last few weeks.”
“That’s not nothing.”
It’s not.
“I wasn’t sure I would ever get to drive it again.” I’m beaming now, because it really was an incredible gesture. “He kept saying he was tinkering with it. I thought he was just passing the time.”
“Are you staying overnight in Coyote Creek?” Tessa asks.
