I point to the chair in the common area. It’s mostly quiet and as good of a spot to do this as any.
“I wasn’t leaving,” I fire off.
“Didn't say you were,” he shoots back just as fast.
I lean back. “You were thinking it.”
He tilts his head. “Actually, I was thinking you look like shit.”
“Helpful,” I mumble.
“Wasn't trying to be.” He crosses his legs, leaning back and getting comfortable. “You love her.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” I challenge.
“A hell of a lot from where I’m sitting.”
“Well, I’m going to need you to quit talking in riddles and spell it out because it’s been a long fucking day and I’m not in the mood for word games.”
Carl doesn't even flinch.
Honestly, that pisses me off more.
“You're scared.”
I scoff. “That’s your big revelation?”
“No.” He rests his elbows on the arms of the chair. “The revelation is that for the first time since I met you, you finally admitted you have something you’re scared to lose.”
My jaw tightens. “Everyone is scared to lose people.”
“Yeah.” He nods. “They are.”
Not the argument I expected.
“But most people don’t try to grieve them before they’re gone.”
“You think I don’t know?” I ask quietly.
Carl is quiet for a second.
And the fire in me keeps building. I fling a hand toward the parking lot. “You think it’s not crystal clear to me what it cost me? Hurting the woman . . .” I hold it back. Aspen deserves those words before I toss them at him in anger.
“That’s the first smart thing you’ve done all day.”
I glare at him. “Thanks.”
“Wasn't a compliment.” He pauses, then asks, “Have you found a therapist to speak with?”
I look away. And that’s answer enough for him.
“Emmett.” His voice is soft but I know he’s disappointed, even if he’s trying to be gentle about it.
“It was on my to do list.”
“You were putting it off because you’re scared.”
“No.” The answer comes fast. I take a deep breath. “I was putting it off because I didn’t think it mattered.”
