The show was electric.
I’d never seen him perform live before, at least not in this kind of setting, but something in the way the crowd responded made me feel like this one felt different to them too. He’d played a bunch of his old songs, and every single person in the audience couldn’t help but sing every single word with him.
My gaze wandered to Ruby on more than one occasion, and I was pleasantly surprised when each time she somehow appeared happier than the time before. Her eyes sparkled, her smiled never wavered, and her arms constantly stood straight up in the air. But with the knowledge I had, I knew there was darkness lingering around her, like a cloud that followed her everywhere.
The lights dropped and the music silenced as Stetson maneuvered the microphone from the stand while someone from the stage crew brought out a guitar and a wooden barstool. He planted the stool behind Stetson before handing over the guitar.
“Thanks, man.” Stetson’s voice echoed through the speakers. “How we doin’ tonight?”
He barely finished speaking before the cheers erupted, filling the entire stadium.
“Damn. All right, sounds like we’re all havin’ a good time.” His breaths were heavy and muffled through the microphone as he worked to slow his breathing. “Nashville has been home to me for a long time and so I figure if I’m going to share a new song, there isn’t anywhere else I’d rather do it than right here, with all of you,” he said, situating himself on the stool and tuning his guitar. I could’ve sworn I saw his fingers fumbling with the strings, alluding to his nerves.
The audience’s response was a couple of seconds delayed, almost as if they were processing what he’d just said, but when they finally did, there wasn’t one person who wasn’t screaming.
My heartbeat picked up pace, rattling against my ribs in anticipation of what came next.
A new song.
This was a huge moment, one I was grateful to be here for.
Stetson shifted his weight on the stool until one foot was propped up holding his guitar and the other was planted firmly on the ground. He looked vulnerable, like he’d opened himself up to the audience.
“I hope this song is one that you justget. One that makes you understand me a little better, but also maybe helps you understand yourself a little better too. I’ll warn ya, it’s different than my others, but I’m different than I was when I first started this journey. I’ve learned over the last year or so that change is good, necessary even, and that just because something is working doesn’t mean it’s right.” His words were real; they carried a truth in them that everyone wanted to hear.
“Ain’t that the fucking truth,” I mumbled under my breath. The vibration of my phone against my butt cheek startled me and I snagged it from my back pocket, making sure it wasn’t something important. The screen lit up, but it wasn’t themessage I noticed first. It was the date illuminated right there in front of me. “Holy shit,” I whispered.
April 2nd.
His words rang even more true now when I processed that it’d been exactly a year since I ran out of that church.
I stared out at the crowd of people, thousands of them, each one eager to hear the words that would come from Stetson’s mouth. Then I turned my attention to the man sitting strong on the stage in front of me, the man I’d been so quick to judge, so quick to write off. And now looking at him, vulnerable and anxious to see how the real him would be received, I saw someone I looked up to, someone I was proud of, and everything in me told me I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
“I really hope ya like it,” Stetson said, moving his gaze to the side of the stage, to me, and for a split second, there wasn’t anyone else here. Only he and I existed in that moment.
I smiled, nodding at him, desperate for him to feel my confirmation that he was doing the right thing. For him to know how proud I was. His face was full of anticipation as he shot me another wink, except this time, it wasn’t just his eyes on me.
It was everyone’s.
Intrigued by each one of his moments, the crowd had traced his gaze until finally landing on me. I subtly shuffled backward to hide in the darkness; the attention of seventy thousand people was a weight I couldn’t quite bear.
Stetson picked up on what was happening and turned his head in their direction. “This song is called ‘Choices.’” He smiled, strumming the first chord alongside the cheers from the crowd.
His voice lured them back, allowing the random girl standing backstage to quickly fade from their minds.
I stood in awe, completely paralyzed as the words drifted from his lips, the familiarity of them pulling me into a hug while my own lips silently mouthed each word.
I imagined this was what it must have felt like to be a songwriter, because while I only had a small hand in writing this song, it wouldn’t be the same without them. Even the ache in my cheeks couldn’t stop me from smiling.
The crowd had taken it upon themselves to pull their phones out, lighting the darkness with their screens as they swayed to the rhythm of the music.
The view was something you had to witness to fully understand. Looking out at the sea of what appeared to be tiny little stars glistening in the night sky made me realize that this was what Stetson witnessed every night.
How could he not want to do this?
“The best one of my choices, was finding strength in my own voice.”Stetson’s voice slowly tapered off, but not before the crowd went completely fucking wild. They were louder than they’d been all night, but the sounds weren’t the whoops and hollers like before. This time, their sounds had more emotion. Their cheers were filled with understanding, their screams filled with passion, and there were even some tears. Those were filled with hope.
The atmosphere was truly magical.
