While the idea of ending up in Stetson’s arms had crossed my mind once or twice in a far-off pipe dream, I hadn’t expected anything to happen while I was here. But now that I actually was, I couldn’t imagine not being in his arms.
“And I’m so glad you got to finally meet Ruby. She means so much to me, so it was only right the two most important girls in my life met.” The stable hum of his voice kept me grounded.
“I didn’t realize she knew she was adopted.”
“Oh yeah. She’s known basically her whole life,” he said. “Jackson and Rebecca never wanted that to be a secret. They wanted her to know her whole truth and to leave room inside ofher heart for her birth parents if they ever decided to come into her life.”
“That’s…” I paused, making sure to pick the right words. “Incredible.”
“They were incredible. Truly some of the best humans I’ve ever known,” he replied.
“It sounds like it,” I responded, letting my mind wander. “Did Ruby want you to find her birth parents or did you just do it because of the promise you made?” I realized my questions were getting oddly specific, and I knew the reason why, but I hoped Stetson just thought I was curious.
“Both. It would’ve been hard for me to do it had she not wanted me to, but when I told her about the promise I made to Jackson, she understood and even appeared…” He hesitated. “I don’t want to say excited, because I know she’s still wary, but she was definitely intrigued by the idea.”
“How is she so strong?” Now that he’d made me feel comfortable enough to ask questions, I couldn’t stop myself.
He released a loud breath. “She wasn’t always this strong. It took us a long time to get to where she is now. She’d always known she was adopted and understood it was a piece of her, but until Jackson and Rebecca died, it was just that: a piece.” His chest built, deepening his inhale. “Then, after the accident, it started taking up more space in her brain, started bringing more questions out. She wanted to know who they were, wanted to know what aspects of herself she got from them. She’d lost one set of parents and now she was eager, desperate even, to grasp another set.
“Truly, it’s been fucking heartbreaking to watch. By the ripe age of thirteen, the world has already had its way with her.” He let us marinate with his words a bit before continuing. “She should be worried about boys and gossip, not death and the harsh realities of life. But I can’t change any of that. I can onlyhelp her trudge through it. And I’ve done my best to do just that. Over the last year, through therapy and with the help of time, she’s blossomed into this beautiful young woman, and I couldn’t be prouder of her. Of course, she still has days, as anyone would, but she’s fierce and determined, and I’m damn sure she’s gonna change the world.”
I wanted to talk, to saysomething, but I couldn’t find the words. It was as if I were paralyzed by the familiarity of Ruby’s situation, except unlike Stetson who was doing his best to heal her wounds, I was the one who’d caused them.
Stetson didn’t notice my lack of response. Instead, we both settled into each other’s silence, allowing nature to have its turn. Stetson’s hand traced circles on my hand that rested on top of his chest.
I didn’t know how much time had passed before Stetson spoke again because I’d found myself lost in thought, unraveling how and when I was going to tell him everything.
“It’s getting late and quite chilly, what do you say we head back?”
“Yeah, let’s,” I responded.
I stood, dusting off the outside from my skirt before wrapping his jacket tightly around my body as a shiver found its way down my spine.
“Come here,” he said, holding the blanket in one hand and me in the other.
“Thank you.”
I slid into the truck, rubbing my hands back and forth on the denim of my skirt, the friction providing some warmth.
“Can I assume you’re coming back to my apartment or were you still planning on going to your hotel?” he asked nonchalantly.
I wanted to go back to his house, but I also felt guilty doing so. I racked my brain, desperately looking for an answer, but my selfishness won out.
“You can assume,” I said, sliding a shaky smile to him.
The drive home felt similar in the sense that it was just as peaceful as the ride out there—the calm of the night, the twinkle of the stars—but it was different in the way that I hated how I felt this time. Stetson had spilled out his heart, giving me everything I was so desperate for, and I couldn’t do the same for him. That alone could have eaten me alive.
“You good? You seem a little off.” The concern in his voice fed my guilt as we walked into his apartment. The dimness provided the smokescreen I needed.
“Yeah, I’m just tired,” I lied. “We’ve had a big day.”
“You sure?” he pressed.
“Uh-huh. But I think I’m gonna call it a night,” I said, tossing his jacket over the back of a big leather chair in his living room.
“All right. I’m going to jump in the shower and then I’ll meet you there.” He leaned down, planting a soft kiss on my forehead.
The shower clicked off just as I finished my nighttime routine and climbed into bed. I shuttered my eyes closed, pretending to sleep. I heard Stetson quietly move around the bedroom until I felt his weight on the bed next to me.
