“I’m sorry, pup,” he whispers, whining pitifully. “I wasn’t trying to drown you.”
“I know, Rhune,” I croak. “You’re very sweet. I appreciate you.”
Nyx leans in, tapping my chest with a clawed finger. “Your heart stopped, Willow,” Nyx chokes. “We thought… We were certain that we lost you.”
I shake my head, unable to believe it. Looking around the room, I realize we’re back in the cave, but I have no memory of us coming back here. The last thing I remember is being on top of the cliff, barely holding on.
“I don’t remember.” I hug my arms tighter around my middle, and despite the furs piled around me, I’m frozen straight to the bone. Kevin nudges my arm, his flat little face pressed close, and I reach over to scratch behind his ear, wanting to reassure him. Wanting to comfort myself.
Nyx and Rhune settle in close on either side of me, their large bodies crowding into the nest of furs and wrapping me in their heat. Rhune tucks his wing over my shoulders like a blanket, and Nyx presses his forehead gently to my temple, humming a soothing, strangely familiar tune that lulls me to sleep.
Part of me wants to stay awake and ask what happened, but my eyelids are so heavy, and the warmth surrounding me is so overwhelming. I can’t fight it much longer.
Slowly, I drift back into the dark, listening to the worried whispers of my mates from somewhere far, far away.
30
Cin
I standat the edge of the cave, watching Willow sleep tangled up between Rhune and Nyx. Noox curls tight around my feet, hissing low and straining toward her, begging to move closer to the slumbering serafyn.
I don’t let him. I don’t trust myself to get any closer either.
I’ve been keeping my distance from her these past few cycles, and it’s taken more restraint than I care to admit. Every time she’s near, I feel that same pull. It’s demanding, insistent, whispering always about how I should take her, claim her, make her mine the way my brothers already have.
But I am not the monster I was born of.
I will never take her against her will. I will never use her. I will never harm her. These things, and a hundred others I’ve never said out loud, have become my new vow. I will keep her safe. I will keep her well.
I will keep her.
Quietly, I cross the cave and kneel beside her, pressing the comb into her palm, curling her slender fingers around it one by one. She doesn’t stir, and I let myself watch her a momentlonger, memorizing the slow rise and fall of her chest and the faint furrow between her brows.
Forcing myself to turn away, I head back out into the storm.
The wind hits me the moment I exit the cave mouth. It’s sharp and biting, though I barely feel it as I spread my wings and fly to the top of the cliff.
Sitting at the edge, I allow the snow and sleet to batter me until my skin goes numb and I have some sense of calm deep within my soul.
Still, I cannot get her to leave my mind.
I grab a chunk of ice from the ground beside me and start working my magic into it, shaping it without any real plan. I don’t have anything specific in mind. I just need somewhere to put the energy that’s been building under my skin.
When I can finally breathe past the crushing weight of it, I glance down and find a carved welwig flower sitting in the center of my palm. Its delicate, alien petals are like something out of a dream, closer to a human orchid than anything that should grow in this frigid climate.
Welwig flowers are exceedingly rare. As far as I know, the trees have bloomed exactly once in all the recorded history of The Far Place.
I’ve never seen one in real life. Only in pictures in some of the old tomes Nyx keeps.
Kept, I mean.
My chest aches at the thought of our ruined home, and before I can stop it, my mind drags me back to the ice wyrm attack. The sensation of being trapped behind my own eyes is something I’ll never get used to, and it was made so much worse by the fact I couldn’t protect my brothers or Willow.
Itmade me abandon them without so much as a backward glance. I had no choice. I never do whenitdecides to take over.
It’s not the first time the parasite has stolen control of my body. I doubt it will be the last, but I wish there was a way for me to fight against it. So far, though, there doesn’t seem to be a way to part from it other than death.
The Other has been with me since the moment I was first brought to life. At first I thought I was only dreaming, because that’s what it feels like every time. Just a vivid dream that I can’t wake from until it’s decided it’s finished with me.
