Page 33 of Fifty-Fifty

She saw Bloch lean forward with a look of anticipation.

‘He called you little lady? Oh, this is going to be good – what did you say back to him?’ asked Bloch, moving her elbows onto the table, leaning in to catch the great come back she was sure Kate had unleashed.

Kate shook her head. ‘I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t.’

Having clearly misread the point of the story, Bloch look confused momentarily, then stared hard at Kate. As if wondering what had happened to her friend who could wither boys with a single look and take down anyone in an

argument. Back in those days, Kate had been the tough one. The one who looked

after Bloch. The one who took no shit from anyone. At an early age, Kate had a

way of wounding with words – they were her weapons.

Her father finished the last of his coffee, and, always looking to avoid a deep or even halfway meaningful conversation, he said, ‘Let’s go feed the birds.’

Kate followed her friend and her father out back to the paved yard and the two large bird feeders he kept at the rear. A single green parrot sat on a perch on one of the feeders. This was not unusual in Edgewater. It was one of the Quaker Parrots. Nobody knew for sure how or why these birds had come to nest and make a home for themselves in Edgewater. They certainly weren’t native to New

Jersey. Some said they escaped from a busted packing crate in JFK airport in the sixties. No one knew for sure.

Kate helped her father refill the feeder with seeds and nuts that he kept in an old barrel while her friend looked on. After a few minutes Bloch said, ‘I have to take off, Louis, could I get the—’

‘Yeah sure,’ said Louis. He plunged his arm deep into the barrel, and he rummaged through the contents until he found what he was looking for. When he drew his hand out he held a yellow padded envelope, which he gave to Bloch.

‘This is the last of your father’s money. It’s only a couple of grand. I hope it’s lucky,’ he said. Kate looked away. Gerry Bloch wasn’t a dirty cop. He’d refused to rat on his fellow officers who were on the take, and with no one else to punish, NYPD brass threw the book at Gerry. The rest of the department put money away for Gerry’s family. The money was probably dirty, but once he was

in the firing line, Gerry didn’t care. Kate had always known this, but she was a lawyer now. An officer of the court. She had a duty to report it. But she wouldn’t. Not in a million years.

This was family.

‘I’ll order the wood from the depot today,’ said Bloch. ‘Thanks for this.’

Louis nodded.

Kate walked Bloch to the front door.

‘This is none of my business,’ said Bloch as she reached the bottom of the porch steps, and turned toward Kate. ‘But you deserve to be in that firm. Take no shit. You’re Kate Brooks from Edgewater, New Jersey.’ Bloch sighed, shook her

head and said, ‘Your mom wouldn’t stand for this.’

Kate watched Bloch get on a motorcycle, heard the engine scream into life and watched her roll away. Bloch didn’t say much, but when she did it was worth listening. And Bloch’s words fell around her now like snow, each one a cold and yet gentle reminder that she was still alive and real and feeling every moment of this life. A crushing wave of memory doubled her over and she reached out and put her palms on the floor. It wasn’t pain that had brought her down – it was shame. She felt ashamed for hiding everything – for pretending things were okay, for not saying anything. Her tears made dark circular splotches on the faded gray doorstep.

Kate hadn’t cried since her mother died. A year before Kate got out of law school, her mother was diagnosed with cancer. She was given a year. Kate hit the internet, found a specialist who agreed to give a second opinion. The afternoon after the appointment with the oncologist, her mom told her she had decided not to go to the appointment – that these things happened, she had lived her life and it was her time. She’d had enough of doctors. Suzanna Brooks died a week before Kate’s graduation. Her mom made her promise not to cry at the ceremony, and Kate kept her promise – she had cried all through the wake, and

had no tears left at the funeral. She went on to pass the bar exam, gaining the second-highest score that year and landed the job at Levy, Bernard and Groff.

A month into the job, she had to contact a couple of oncologists to arrange appointments for medicolegal opinions in an ongoing clinical negligence case.

One of them was the specialist she had arranged for her mother to see. They got talking on the phone and Kate mentioned they had spoken before.

‘Yes, I do remember. I don’t pretend to remember all of my patients, Kate, but I remember your mom and dad. It’s a familiar story. Insurance companies are the worst scum of the earth.’

‘I’m sorry? I don’t understand. Mom said she didn’t keep the appointment.’

‘Oh, well, no, they did come and see me. I told your mom we could probably give her another three to five years with this new drug. Her insurance wouldn’t cover it, and it was very expensive. I’m really sorry for your loss.’

‘That doesn’t make sense, my dad had savings. Dad had the money for treatment. I know because he paid for my school fees—’

The realization hit her and Kate had politely ended the call, and thanked the doctor for his time. She went home and her father admitted the truth. Suzanna didn’t want her daughter lumbered with student debt she could never pay. Her father had used the family savings to put her through law school. The money they could have spent on life-prolonging medication for her mom went on Kate’s schooling. They couldn’t afford both. Kate was the most important thing to her