“Shame your mystical powers didn’t extend to foretelling who the new owner will be.” I smiled, my head on one side. “We could both have a lie-in tomorrow.”
James looked at me like I was his slightly disappointing protégé. “Seriously, Andy, do not underestimate the criticality of punctuality tomorrow. You know what you’re like. You do realize you can’t dial in, right?”
“I wonder if theywillannounce the new owner.” I rubbed my chin. “My money’s on the reclusive German billionaire.”
“Might be more interesting than Pfizer.” James nodded. “You never know. If it doesn’t work out with Rudy, maybe you could tap the new guy. The newoldguy. He might be seventy-five and smell of Vicks VapoRub, but at least he wouldn’t borrow your credit card and forget to put it back.”
“Leaving you stranded at the petrol station with a full tank and no way to pay,” my sister murmured, raising a brow.
“Better than that awful one with the dreds.” James turned to Eliza. “What was his name? Jarod? Do you remember when he disappeared for two weeks and then said he’d been with the Hare Krishnas?”
Eliza laughed. I shot her a look.
“Funnily enough, geriatric corporate psychopaths don’t really float my boat.” I folded my arms. “And that incident wasn’t Rudy’s fault, by the way. I said he could borrow the card.”
“Mmm.” My sister was skeptical.
“I wonder where this driver’s at?” I asked, hoping to change the subject. “Can you check his location?”
“Good point.” James picked up the phone and scrutinizedthe screen. “Ooh. On his way. I hope he goes through with it. He can’t keep the tip if he doesn’t do the job, can he?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “I’ve never hired a delivery person to conduct surveillance before.”
Mr. Darcy wandered into the living room and attempted to jump onto the sofa, hind legs scrabbling in the air.
“Incredible animal,” mused James. “I didn’t even think they made cats with so little grace.”
“What he lacks in grace, he makes up for with personality,” I said, lifting him onto the cushion. The truth was, he was so unattractive by cat standards, he’d never have made it out of the rescue center alive. But he was cute, in his own way.
Just then, my phone flashed—a message from Baz, the driver. James tapped his hands together excitedly and pressed the tips of his fingers to his lips. “Read it,” he commanded, pointing at the phone.
With a sigh, I picked it up.
“‘Black and red motorbike and white Nissan Leaf in driveway,’” I said, reading Baz’s message out loud.
“Strike one,” said Eliza. “Not only is he home when he said he wasn’t, a Nissan Leaf is definitely a girl’s car.”
“Or maybe a grandma’s?” said James.
I continued, “‘Door opened by man with long dark hair and tattoo of a skull and a bird on his neck.’”
I felt slightly nauseous.
“Ugh, that’s him then,” said Eliza. “Honestly, Andy, even if he’s not cheating, you should dump him for the tatts alone.” She shook her head incredulously. “Who has something like that on their neck? He doesn’t even have a nice neck.”
“I know, right?” James added. “Kind of pimply. Why draw attention to it?”
“Do you remember when he flossed with his own hair at the pub that one time?” added Eliza. James shivered.
“His neck was fine,” I said, a bit too loudly. This wasn’t helping. What did his bandmate, Kai—or was it Kale?—drive? I didn’t think it was a Leaf.
“There’s another text coming through,” I said, my voice high. James filled my wine again. I stared at the three dots that indicated a message was imminent.
“‘No shirt,’” I read. “What does that mean?”
“Presumably that he wasn’t wearing a shirt?” suggested James, not even bothering to conceal his sarcasm. “Clearlyin flagrante delictowith some ho.”
“ItisJuly.” I sounded pathetic, even to myself. “Maybe he was hot?”
