With a herculean effort, I pried my eyelids open, suppressing a hiss of pain as the light hit my sensitive eyes. It was worth it as a face came into focus. Oval-shaped, with fine brows that were pinched in concern, haloed by the sunlight streaming through the uncovered bedroom window.
“You must be an angel,” I replied, lifting a shaky hand to pinch the blonde tips of her hair where they rested on her shoulder.
She snorted, and a long-fingered hand shot up to cover her mouth.
Her nails were short and bare. Such a difference from the groupies I was used to. Their nails were often long and sharp enough to tear. Who was she? As though reading my thoughts, she grimaced and held out a hand.
“I’m Tatum, your new—”
“Get away from him.” The human thundercloud that was my twin came storming into the room. His knuckles were grazed and bleeding in spots, and the throwback to my dream made such a visceral shudder run through me that Tatum laid a hand on my shoulder, her hazel eyes creased in concern.
“I’m fine, Cal. Just…hungover.”
The angel swung back toward my brother with a frown I would have found entertaining if the entire room wasn’t starting to spin.
“He can call you Cal, but I can’t?”
Calix’s face was flooding with color in a way it rarely did. She was already under his skin then. Interesting.
“He’s my twin. He’s also not currently plotting how quickly he can report to the record label that the drummer from Goats and Vandals almost died of a drug overdose last night.”
Woah, hang on…
“Fuck off, Calix. You’re not helping. And I already told you, I’m here to help. If I screw you guys over, I’m out of a job, and Ineeda job right now.”
“You really are an angel,” I muttered.
No one stood up to Calix when he was in a mood, and he was always in a mood.
Tatum grinned down at me. “I like you already. Way more than your brother.” She cast a quick glare over her shoulder before continuing, all business-like. “Let’s get you showered, then Calix can buy us some lunch and get you back with your bandmates, so they don’t worry.”
“No one worries about me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course they…” Her words died off as she pulled the covers back, and we both realized I was naked underneath.
Shit.
While the angel and I both froze, my brother was in full defense mode. AKA being a complete asshole.
“What’s wrong, Tater-tots? Never seen a flaccid dick before?”
She tilted her head, her face blank, despite the pink crawling up her throat. “Not one with quite so much hardware, honestly. Didn’t that hurt?”
Sitting up quickly, I cupped my junk in my hands while glaring at my brother. The longer she stared at me with those fascinated eyes, the less flaccid I became and wasn’t this one hell of a first impression?
“I’ll just get that shower,” I muttered, pushing upright on unsteady legs and trying my best to ignore the fact that this angel, who I was apparently going to be working with, was probably getting one hell of a view of my naked ass as I shuffled into the ensuite.
The shower was a life-altering experience I wished I could have enjoyed, but as clarity and rational thought returned to my drug-addled brain, I realized I didn’t want Tatum or my brother to have to spend more time in a place like this. I knew the suburbs triggered the fuck out of Calix. Hell, I was triggered, too. But the sweet call of oblivion was always enough for me to push through the discomfort and seek Freddie out for another hit of whatever was on offer.
Leaning over the basin, I stared at my knuckles, slightly white from my grip. On one hand, the word peace was spelled out in fancy cursive, one letter per knuckle feeding into the image of a sun bursting out over the back of my hand. On the other hand, was chaos in a jagged script bleeding into a chaos star.
God, you’re a piece of shit. At least if you’d overdosed properly, Calix would finally be rid of you.
I shook my head, trying to rattle loose the voice that had been getting louder in recent months. Truth be told, it had been near constant since our tour had been announced. It told me I was a fuck-up. That I was going to ruin everything the guys had worked so hard for. That everyone would be better off without me.
But there was some stupid, selfish part left in me that couldn’t let Calix go. I’d keep trying because I didn’t want him to forget me.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
