Chapter 5
Two months later, she was still waiting for something to happen. Christmas had come and gone with her plunging herself into the activities and playing hostess to her husband's parties, which included people from their work circle as well as friends. Eliza had never considered herself close to anyone except Blair and several of the "wives." Certainly not the people she worked with. She had seen their shallowness and wanted to avoid being sucked into that type of negativity. When she first started out in the industry, she had been advised to try and connect with them, but somehow she had never fit in.
She always felt as if she was wearing someone else's clothing.
It was Sally who had given her the best advice.
"Honey, these people are like piranhas. They will suck you in, try to pretend that you're their friend, all the while stabbing you in the back. The females are the worst. They are always scrambling for what you achieve and forget it if you find a man interested in you. They will rake you clean and spit you out without a qualm.
"At least the men are only after one thing, and they will reveal their true selves after a while. The women can go for years pretending to care when they don't. Find a few good loyal friends and stick with them."
She had discovered that to be the truth. She had never been one to blab her business to all and sundry, and this had followed her throughout the years.
But now she was the one pretending to be carefree and happy, when inside she was dying. Nothing had happened, even after all the testing, the rigorous process of egg retrieval, the injections, and the invasive examinations.
She tried to hide her stress from her husband, but he knew her too well. That was why he decided to reschedule a meeting with a director and come home early instead.
Because she wasn't expecting him, he found her curled up on the window seat, staring through the one-sided glass, a pensive expression on her face. She was so deep in thought that she never heard when he opened the bedroom door and never even realized that the alarm had pinged, indicating that someone had entered the premises.
It wasn't until she saw his reflection through the glass that she realized she wasn't alone. And trying to school her expression did not work.
"Oh! I didn't hear you. I was just..."
"Wallowing in self-pity." His tone was grim. "We talked about this."
"I don't know what you mean."
He stopped her before she could move away from her perch. "We promised each other transparency, and you've been hiding things from me." Taking her hand, he led her over to the comfortable love seat across from the bed. "Now's the time when you start being honest with me."
She shook her head and tried to pry her hands from his, but he held on tighter.
"You know I won't let up."
Biting her lip, she avoided his eyes by gazing down at their linked hands.
"You're going to be upset."
"You don't know that. And what if I am?"
"It's been more than two months and nothing."
Stifling his impatience, he struggled for understanding. She was the one who was going through most of it. All he was required to do was to submit his sperm and be there for her appointments. "The doctors said it can take up to four months, even five."
"Are we doing the right thing?" she wondered aloud.
"What do you mean?"
"I want children so badly that I'm willing to go above and beyond. If God wanted us to be parents, wouldn't he have allowed us to get pregnant the normal way?"
"We're not normal people." His attempt at levity fell short when she simply stared at him, her misery apparent. "Look." Turning her hand over, he started stroking her palm. "For some people it's as easy as one or two couplings and then it happens. For us, it's something different. I want to make a suggestion."
She lifted her head to look at him.
"What?"
"We go away for a week."
"We can't. You have a new movie..."
