I’d been writing endlessly about Leo and me, something Mom encouraged as a way to work through my grief. She came over every day to check on me and had been extremely clear that she would support me no matter what I chose to do or where I chose to live. I just glared at her when she said it, but she told me that she wanted to make sure I knew in case I ever changed my mind.
Elena lay on her stomach on my bed in the pool house with my laptop in front of her. She’d been in that position for hours, pouring over what I’d written. It had dawned on me yesterday that without meaning to, I’d written a second book—almost.
Elena looked up at me as I paced the pool house in my bathing suit. I’d sat by the pool while she read the majority of the draft until I was too impatient for her to finish.
“What do you think?” I asked.
“Soph, this is really good,” she said. “Like, as good as Danny’s books. And way less gross since reading about your sex life is far less disturbing than reading about Mom’s. You should send this to your agent.”
“I can’t.” I shook my head. “It’s too real. I just needed to write it down for me.”
“Then why have me read it?”
“I don’t know,” I said, realizing she was right. Ididwant to send this to Maggie.
“Sophia, if this is all true, you need to call Leo,” Elena said, sitting herself up.
“I can’t call him. What the hell would I say?I never should have gotten on that plane and I’ll follow you anywhere if you’ll still have me. Turns out I’m not sacrificing anything to be with you because I love you more than my home?”
Elena raised an eyebrow and ran her hand over her dark, purple-streaked ponytail. “That sounds like a reasonable start. Maybe add,I shouldn’t have had to leave to figure that out and I’m sorry.”
I scoffed. “He didn’t ask me to stay, Elena.”
“Because he promised he wouldn’t, not because he didn’t want you to. He thinks he’s putting you first.” She stood up and hugged me. “I love you, Sophia. I would never try to send my big sister and best friend to the other side of the world if I didn’t believe it was what’s best for you.”
A knock sounded at the pool house door, and I let go of Elena and turned to face it. “Come in.”
The door opened and Connor stood in the doorway. His blonde hair, and relaxed, surfer vibe looked way too casual for my current emotional state. “Hey, Soph,” he said.
He’d been texting me since I’d gotten home and I’d only politely returned his messages. I knew he wanted to get together to start things up again and that wasn’t a possibility for me. I just wasn’t going to tell him that over a text message.
“Hi, Connor,” I said.
“I thought I’d stop by and see if you wanted to grab coffee,” he said.
Elena groaned. “Can’t you take a hint? Sophia’s busy, we haveplans today.”
Connor smiled at her. “Always nice to see you, Elena.”
Elena rolled her eyes. “Get fucked, Connor. We tolerated each other on a good day. You can go now.”
Connor looked at me.
“Elena’s right. We do have plans,” I said.
“Okay, maybe another time?” he asked, looking hopeful.
“Sure,” I said at the same time Elena said, “No.”
She shot me a look. “Sophia, just put him out of his misery. You’re never going to get back together with him.”
“Really?” I hissed. I looked at Connor. “I’m sorry, she’s in a mood.”
“Is she right?” he asked, looking defeated.
I nodded and gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I don’t think we’re right for each other and I think starting something again would be waste of our time. I know what I’m looking for and it’s not what we had.”
He put his hands in his pockets and flipped his hair off his forehead with a shake of his head. “I get it, Sophia. I hope you find what you’re looking for. You deserve it.”
