I laughed out loud and hopped up out of my chair, moving to my bed and lying on my back. I had practice in the morning and was alreadyexhausted. I should have been going to bed, but I was happy to text her all night even if it meant dragging ass on the ice.
Me:Let’s get one thing straight, Hawaii. I neverflickmy stick. I handle it with the care and precision it requires. I grip it firmly and move my wrist in a practiced motion. My stick is a precious tool with an important job to do.
Sophia:Are you for real right now?
Me:I am.
Sophia:Are you talking about your dick or your hockey stick?
I laughed heartily again.
Me:Both of course. And in hockey, that’s called stickhandling.
Sophia:Right, I’m sure the internet was going to tell me that any minute.
Me:Rely on the internet if you want, but I think you’ll be much more entertained entering your remaining questions into this text thread.
Me:Also, if you need any pictures of me handling my stick to help you with your article (or book research), just let me know.
Sophia:Now you’re talking about your dick, aren’t you?
Me:I don’t keep my hockey stick in my dorm.
Sophia:Great, now I’ve unwittingly entered the unsolicited-dick-pic era of my life.
Me:Don’t you get me at all yet? I’m only going to sendyou what you want to see. I just want you to know, I’m willing. You’d be the first to ever get one from me too.
Sophia:Wow. The honor I feel right now is hard to put into words.
Me:Again, as a writer, I feel like you should be better with words, but what do I know? I’ve never been offered a dick pic. Maybe I’d be speechless too.
Sophia:Here’s a question the internet can’t answer for me. Just how big is your stick?
Me:The average NHL stick is about sixty-three inches long, Hawaii. But the internet could have told you that.
Sophia:I wasn’t asking about your hockey stick.
I snorted and rubbed my jaw.What the hell?She’d obviously noticed it was large; it’s not like I was going to scare her off with a number.
Me:Oh, well then, the answer to your question is eight inches.
Sophia:Fucking hell. Are you adding an inch for ego?
Me:You’ve had it in your body, Soph. Do you think I’m exaggerating?
Sophia:No.
Sophia:Wow.
Sophia:Goodnight, Leo
Me:Sweet dreams, Hawaii.
Me:Hey, wait, are you coming to our first game?
Sophia: And every single one for the foreseeable future, apparently.
Me:Hit me up after? I’ll answer any questions you haveand maybe we can hang out?
