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The rockier ground jostled her in her seat, surprising her almost as much as his words. “Were you all three on active duty at the same time?”
“It’s not that unusual for two generations to serve at once. Guess you could say I joined the family business.” Darkness tinged his voice, but his driving stayed steady. The man was a brick, steady on, nothing seemed to rattle him.
“Medically retired?” She sifted through his words that left so many unanswered questions. “But I thought you said she worked on medical flights.”
“She did, on C-130s outfitted to be a hospital. She was a med tech. They flew into some hot spots overseas to pick up wounded. She was in a Humvee sent out to stabilize and transport wounded back to the plane. They hit a roadside bomb…” His voice trailed off, each breath heavier, like running a marathon. “She suffered a traumatic brain injury.”
“Oh my God, Wade, I’m so sorry.” She’d read an article about how even if a body stayed intact, the force of the explosion made the brain swell, causing permanent damage. Due to the roadside bombs, so many were coming home in one piece, but not at all whole.
And to think of that happening to Wade’s mother…
She wished she could touch him, comfort him, but hopping over to his snow machine wasn’t exactly an option. “And you feel like you should have been there.”
“We all serve where we’re called to be,” he said starkly, almost like an automaton.
Snow swirled around them from the shifting winds, the powder they kicked up whirling right back toward them like an icy dust cloud.
“But no matter how many mothers, fathers, family members, children you save for others, it’s never enough.” She felt the same responsibility to her brother right now all too well.
“She’s alive, and I know to be grateful for that.”
“And still?” She tightened her grip as the steering tugged left, working to gain traction along the snowy path. The rented machines didn’t handle as smoothly as sleds she’d ridden in the past, but she seemed to have it under control again.
He exhaled so hard the vibration rubbed against her ears.
“My mother shouldn’t have been working that day. She was pulling a shift for a guy with the call sign Seagull. You know why they called him that?” Wade bit out angrily. “Because he was like a Seagull. You damn near had to toss rocks at him to get him to fly. That day, supposedly he had the flu. Third time in a month.”
His frustration, his pain, his anger were all understandable. She agreed, even understanding it must make looking at her, seeing her family, all the more difficult for him.
He eased back on the power to stay alongside of her as she fishtailed again. “Hell, I realize it would have still happened and the pain would have been hell for Seagull’s family, but it was his shift to pull, the duty he signed on for. He cashed the paychecks, accepted the benefits, and then left my mother out there to take his place. My mother out there”—his voice cracked—“and I’m over here.”
“You feel like you should have been the one to help her? Wade, you have to know you can’t be everywhere in the world.” What a heavy load to carry, the life of so many people on his shoulders.
“Saving people is what I do. Seems damn ironic I couldn’t help my own mom.” His breathing came through the headset heavier, emotional.
“Wade, I am so very sorry,” she said again, knowing it could never be enough.
Her grip tightened further, fighting against the whine and drag as she all but willed her machine around a boulder-size chunk of ice that narrowed the path to single file. She shot ahead and left, determined to conquer at least one obstacle in her world where the insurmountable seemed to be piling up faster than she could kick her way through.>“Everybody knows.” She snorted dismissively. “Stand underneath Ryker’s open window and you can almost get high off the smoke.”
Or maybe it was because her sense of smell was so much stronger these days. Regardless, she was so angry and confused, she couldn’t even focus.
“Ryker will be crushed.” Flynn leaned a hip against the sink, towels tucked against his chest. “He likes to think he’s a badass.”
“Flynn?”
“Yes, beautiful?” he answered, without taking his eyes off her for even a second.
“Put the towels down and leave.”
“Right.” He dropped them on the sink before reaching for the doorknob.
“And turning your head away may keep me from understanding what you say, but I know you can hear me. You shouldn’t have come in here.”
He glanced over his shoulder, his smile cranking back up to killer wattage. “So you want me to look at you?”
Squealing, she yanked the shower curtain in front of her again. “That’s not fair. Now go.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He turned to leave, his hands behind him, twitching.
