Every single step was agony. But every step was a step closer to her new life.
Like the Little Mermaid, she had made a choice for herself. And that was what gave her the power to reach the top of the stairs, and then to slowly lower herself to sit on her bed. It didn’t matter what Dan did or didn’t do. She had faced the operation and survived. Now, all she had to do was recover. And if she could do that, then she could do anything.
TWO
Deb had been having the same dream for months now. A girl in an old-fashioned smock dress and two long plaits tied with white ribbons was skipping with a rope, chanting a rhyme:
Granny’s in the kitchen, doing a bit of stitchin’
Down comes a bogeyman and knocks her out
Ah! said Granny. That’s not fair!
Ah! said the bogeyman. I don’t care.
It was always the same dream, always the same girl. All Deb remembered when she woke up was the girl, and the sense that she was somewhere in the countryside.
Weird.
She blinked, and reached for her phone to turn off the alarm. Then, as was her habit, she sat up, put on her glasses and checked her messages, then her work emails, all of which were on her phone.
Dear Deborah,
I hope this email finds you very well. We haven’t met, but you come highly recommended by my partner Zelda Hicks who I think you worked with on a House of Interiors event a while ago.
My name is Hal Cameron and I’m the Laird at Loch Cameron, based in the castle there. I’m not sure if you know it.
I like to hold regular celebration events for the community at Loch Cameron Castle, and our May Day party on May 1stis a fixture in the calendar. Looking at my schedule, though, this means that there are only five weeks to get it organised, and Zelda and myself have been asked to be in New York – at rather short notice – for at least three of those weeks.
This is where you come in! Zelda assures me that your event for House of Interiors was a great success and that you were – in her words – “an absolute darling” to work with. Therefore, I’m wondering whether you would be available to take the reins for our May Day party? Zelda and I will help where we can, but as we’ll be away for a good portion of the time, we need someone we can trust to do the majority of the work.
I realise that this is rather late notice and that you might very likely be busy, but we thought it was worth asking. It goes without saying that I would be more than happy to double your usual rate, considering it’s a rush job.
I look forward to hearing from you.
All very best regards,
Hal Cameron
Laird of Loch Cameron
Deb re-read the email on her phone, half-propped up with pillows on her bed.
She was seven weeks post-hysterectomy and felt about a thousand per cent better. The symptoms of endometriosis she’d been experiencing for about three years had gone.
It had been a gradual recovery and Deb had been trying to take it easy, but being self-employed meant that she didn’t really have a nice cushion of sick leave to rely on. So, she’d gone back to work about six weeks after the operation, but it had been hard. She’d become so exhausted if she had to stand up for a couple of hours, and her tummy muscles got tired easily. She didn’t want to push herself, but as an events organiser, her job involved being on site at the event, as well as visiting the venue beforehand to plan everything and look at the facilities. Deb mostly organised weddings, corporate parties and awards ceremonies, but she occasionally worked with magazines and other promotional type organisations for parties, launches and influencer events. That was how she’d met Zelda Hicks: at an influencer party she’d organised forHomes and Interiors Magazine, where Zelda was a stylist.
Deb and Zelda had got on well, and the party – at a chichi hotel in London – had been a great success. However, that had been before the hysterectomy.
A party at a castle sounded like a fun project. Though she was still more tired than she would usually be, a break in the countryside did also sound amazing. She was sick and tired of being inside all the time and she craved fresh air and a change of view. She googled Loch Cameron Castle, not sure what to expect, and when the grey stone castle with its tall, gothic turrets and manicured gardens came onto her screen, she gasped a little at its grandeur. Well… that wasn’t the worst place in the world to work.
Deb walked into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and was met with the vision of a mountain of unwashed dishes. She and Dan had agreed that it would be his job to stack the dishwasher, run it and unpack it, since Deb had been laid up. She pulled open the dishwasher door and saw that it was completely empty, and the complete disrespect of that gesture hit her hard, like a blow.
Because, it wasn’t just this. There had been signs. Trigger warnings. But she hadn’t wanted to see them.
Ever since she had got home from the hospital Dan had taken every opportunity to show her that he resented having to look after her. Deb didn’t enjoy being dependent on anyone. She didn’t want to be helped to the toilet, or into the shower, and she would have vastly preferred her own cooking to Dan’s. She found the whole process of recovery mortifying.
But, she’d also read enough horror stories online to see what happened to women who tried to go back to work and normal life too soon after the operation. Serious complications could happen if you didn’t give your body the time it needed to heal and, frankly, Deb didn’t have the time or the inclination to go back into hospital because she hadn’t done recovery right the first time. So, she had done exactly what the doctor had told her, and nodded when she’d been asked if there was someone at home who could look after her.
