‘Yes. But I don’t have one. I might never even have a baby. But if I did, I’d fight her. I wouldn’t let her take it.’ Faye appealed. Her heart was pounding and her face was flushed.
Lyr strode over to her and slapped her face. Faye reeled with the impact, and shock brought tears to her eyes. Like the pinches and tears she made in her own skin, the slap was also a relief.
‘Stupid girl! You made a bargain with the High Queen of Murias and offered her my blood! It is my blood she wants! If she has even a drop of it, she can destroy me, just as Moronoe could destroy Finn or Levantiana with a little of the blood that runs in their veins. Your child will have my blood, just as you do. It matters not what happens to the child after she gets what she wants.’
Faye held her cheek, furious that he had struck her.
‘If she wanted your blood, why didn’t she just take it from me?’ Faye shot back. ‘Surely that would be easier.’
She watched Lyr warily as he paced in front of her.
‘No. You are protected. Your mother made sure of that.’ Lyr shook his shaggy head. ‘She traded her life so that she might learn the faerie magic of Murias in death and lay an aura of protection around you. She foresaw what would happen; that Finn would seduce you; that you would go to Murias. That was why she was taken from you so early.’
‘Because…of me?’ Faye was thunderstruck.
‘She knew that a half-fae child – my child, with a Morgan witch for a mother – would be a very desired asset in the other realms. She knew that she had to protect you.’ Lyr sighed. ‘Perhaps it was my fault. Not since Grainne Morgan did a fae king fall in love with a Morgan woman. I knew that if we had a child, she would be a power like the worlds had not seen for many an aeon. And yet, I pursued your mother. My love clouded my judgement.’
‘You loved her? The fae don’t love.’ Faye shook her head. ‘How can you say that you loved her? You left her alone. Disappeared. You broke her heart.’
‘I loved her, whether you understand it or not. And now, it is entirely likely that you will be with child one day, and when that day comes, they will destroy me,’ Lyr fumed, and punched the wall as he walked past it. Faye jumped. Just like in Murias, thebeauty of Falias had distracted her, and she was reminded that she should always be on her guard in the faerie realms.
‘What will Levantiana do with the baby?’ Faye asked, askance. It was a theoretical, future child, but terror stabbed at her heart.
‘I do not care about the fate of the child that does not yet exist. I care about my own self-preservation, and the preservation of my realm!’ Lyr shouted, pacing the lodge. He came back to the table, poured another goblet of wine and drained it, then stared suspiciously at Faye. ‘She made no other bargain with you? Levantiana is a Mistress of Magic. I sense that if you were close to her power, it may have been irresistible for you. Yes…’ He looked deeper into Faye’s eyes. She wondered about lying for a moment, then knew it would be impossible to lie to Lyr. ‘She did offer you something else. You bargained for more than your rescue. What was it? Speak, child!’
Faye looked at her feet, distressed. She wanted to go home and forget all of this. In that moment, she thought of Rav. She’d been wrong to judge him for wanting to forget. For wanting a normal life.
‘I didn’t know you. You were…a distant concept. A father I had never known,’ she protested.
‘What did she offer you, and what did you agree to give her?’ Lyr insisted, and Faye gulped. He seemed to have grown larger and towered over her in the lodge.
‘She said I could help them. To be a weapon against you when the time came in the war. It wouldn’t hurt me. I agreed to that.’
Lyr swore under his breath and kicked the table over. ‘And what did she give you in return?’ he growled. ‘The life of some other worthless human lover?’
Not worthless. The man I love,Faye thought. The same protective urge that had taken her back into Murias to rescue Rav reawakened and made her angry. How dare this faerie kinglecture her, when he’d done precisely nothing to help her know any better about surviving in the faerie realms? She’d been desperate there – under threats she’d little way of countering. Lyr could have known her when she was a child. He could have taught her the power that she sought now, belatedly – the power that was her birthright.
‘She taught me the magic of Murias.’ Faye met Lyr’s stare and refused to drop it. ‘I refused to be Finn Beatha’s whore. I wanted to go back and forth in the faerie realm as I wished, so she gave me some of her wisdom. And, yes. I promised what she wanted. I would do it again to save the man I love, and save myself.’ She heard her voice grow louder like his. ‘I don’t owe you anything, Lyr of Falias. I don’t expect you to be a father to me now; it’s too late. But you owe me the respect you should give one of your family, at the very least.’
She turned to go, but he gripped her arm.
‘Stay,’ he commanded, but she pulled her arm free.
‘You can’t command me,’ she spat, and strode out of the lodge and into the village.
21
Excerpt from Grainne Morgan’s diary
Winter solstice, 21December 1588
I have been teaching myself the magic from the grimoire. It is strange, unlike anything I have done before, but deep and profound.
Where once the villagers celebrated the shortest day by burning the Yule log, symbolic of the warmth of the hearth to be taken through the coldest months, now they celebrate the Christian holiday. I do not have strong feelings about it, and indeed Ethel and Marian celebrate Christmas now, but I was taught the old ways and keep them.
Rather than conduct a ceremony on the beach this year, as the winter has been so hard, I lit a fire at homealone and propitiated Old Hornie and Queenie there. Surprisingly, I was visited by Gwyn. I would not normally expect this, but he materialised during the ritual, and we made love. It was very beautiful.
I find my heart being turned towards him, and I am at a loss as to why this is happening. I have always kept the old ways strictly and avoided entanglements. Why now?
