Faye held onto the anger she’d felt just earlier; anger would help her navigate Finn and Murias. If she held onto its sharp clarity, it would help her. She had Lyr’s crystal in her bag. She got it out and stuffed it inside her bra, hoping it would be protection enough against Finn’s enchantment.
‘All right. I remember what to do.’ Gabriel nodded.
Faye took a deep breath and focused her thoughts on Finn Beatha.Finn, hear me. Come to me, she thought, and started pacing the circle.
‘Finn Beatha, High King of Murias, faerie kingdom of water; Master of the Cup, Emperor of undine, nixie, sprite, kelpie, frog, fish and water-serpent, come to me!’ Faye called out the words that felt right at the centre of the circle. Gabriel echoed her, his low voice vibrant in the night air. They repeated the process once and then once more.
Overhead, the clouds rolled across the moon; rain was coming. Faye stood at the centre of the circle, drawing power up from the earth and into her body in a line of gold filament, feeling it fill her, ground her into the earth. At the same time, she closed her eyes and imagined the strange, alien silver magic of the stars streaming into her.
Finn Beatha, I beseech you, enter the space I have prepared for you.
Finn Beatha, I would love you with my mind, my heart and my body.
Finn Beatha, I summon you from your kingdom.
I offer something of mine that I can give freely; this is the exchange.
This is the promise between faerie and human.
So mote it be.
Faye raised her voice and called out the words with as much strength and passion as she could muster. Anger and concentration shaped her words and sent them to cut the air.You will come to me, she thought,you arrogant, controlling bastard. I will have what I want from you.
Droplets of rain landed on Faye’s hair, but Finn Beatha didn’t appear.
‘Call him again,’ Gabriel said, looking up at the charcoal clouds that massed over their heads. ‘It’s going to rain.’
‘More water can only help us,’ Faye observed, and pulled the hood of her black cape-like swing coat over her head.Now, I really look the part, she thought. She took out the wand that had been in her family for generations; the one that had been crafted in Murias and given to the Morgan women. She dipped the end of it in the river water and drew the sigil of water in the air with it, reciting the Gaelic invocation.
Nothing happened.
‘Am I doing something wrong?’ Faye appealed to Gabriel.
‘I don’t know. I guess with these things, it’s always about the intention, isn’t it? All the rest’s window dressing, mood-setting, to some extent. You’re supposed to be calling out with a kind of intense passion.’ He gave Faye a half-critical look. ‘If I’m honest, I don’t hear it in your voice. The passion. I’m guessing that when you summoned Lyr, you really wanted to see him. Tonight, I don’t know. You want to see Finn, but you don’t want to at the same time.’
‘I can’t let myself be taken over by it like I have before. He wins if I do.’ Faye was torn; Gabriel was right. She feared seeing Finn, and she feared being taken back into Murias. But Aisha needed her.
‘But—’ Gabriel started to argue, and she felt the anger rise up in her again.
‘No! I have to stay in control. You don’t know what it’s like! He’s like…it’s…’ She wanted to scream at her own sudden lack of eloquence. ‘I lose myself. I…forget. Everything except him. It’s…’ How could she explain that the pleasure of Finn and ofbeing in Murias made everything else pale by comparison? That when she was in his arms, she’d sacrifice everything else to stay there, wrapped in the dark ecstasy of his touch? And how could she tell Gabriel how much that loss of control lured and terrified her in equal measure?
‘Faye.’ Gabriel held out his hands for hers and clasped them in his. ‘From everything you’ve told me about your connection with Finn, it’s…deeply passionate. Right? It’s desire that links you.’
‘Yes, but—’ She tried to explain, but he shook his head.
‘Faye. You have to open yourself up to that desire. Don’t judge it. It’s part of you. You might think it’s a dark part, something in the shadows. But the things in the shadows are what give us power. That’s what magic teaches us, right?’
She nodded. He was right, but knowing something and having the courage to feel it were very different things.
‘You’ve got to let go,’ Gabriel said softly. ‘Call him with all the desire you have for him. I know it’s in you. And he knows, too.’
‘But what if I get lost there again?’ Faye felt as if she was standing on the edge of a cliff. She knew she had to jump; she knew that shewouldjump. But the thought of the fall rising up to meet her still made her stomach lurch and her head spin.
‘Then you get lost,’ Gabriel replied, completely serious. ‘Maybe that’s what you were supposed to do all along.’
She began again, letting the desire for Finn overwhelm her.
She concentrated on allowing all the dark, sweet joy in her to erupt; allowed herself to remember what it was like to submit to Finn Beatha. To feel his fist at the nape of her neck, holding her hair. His mouth on hers and his voice murmuring in her ear,Good girl. Call me your Lord and Master. Submit to me. Get on your knees. Tell me how badly you want it.
