‘No. I can’t imagine,’ I said. I knew what it was like to find yourself in a different time; I knew how confusing and discombobulating it was, but it wasn’t the moment to tell William that. I didn’t want to invalidate his feelings.
‘I walked into Tintagel. I found a tavern. I bartered my cufflinks for a couple of flagons of ale. They held the Trevarron insignia, but the tavern keeper seemed not to care.’ William swallowed back the anger that I knew boiled inside him. ‘I sat in thattavern and drank. You will likely think that was stupid of me, but I didn’t know what else to do.’ He glanced at me, but I shook my head.
‘Not stupid,’ I said, softly.
‘Well, I became stupid, the more I drank. Such is my pride.’ He looked away from my eyes, as if he couldn’t stand to look at me anymore. ‘I began to feel furious that the innkeeper had taken the cufflinks. They were worth far more than a couple of jugs of beer. And I could not take in the strange fact that no one seemed to know me. Usually, in Tintagel, I would be recognised – either as the lord, or the tavern-dwellers knew me sometimes as the fighter they had seen the night before. But, no one seemed to see me.
‘I went to the bar and began to argue with the tavern-keeper. I wanted the cufflinks back. He refused, saying that I had to pay my bill another way, but I had no money. I was not carrying any. Finally, the police were called.’ William looked down at his hands in his lap.
‘I am so deeply sorry, William,’ I said, again. I didn’t know what else to say. ‘Please, I know that you’re humiliated. But none of this is your fault. You have to know that.’
‘I know nothing. I am nothing, here. I am a tramp with no money, no family, no property. No horse, even.’ He scoffed, getting up and pacing around. ‘I don’t know what you expect of me, Tegan, but I cannot give you anything. I have no power here, apart from my fists.’
‘I don’t expect anything from you.’ I wiped my face with the back of my hand. ‘And you have so much more to offer than your fists, William. Just because you aren’t Lord of Trevarron anymore, doesn’t mean that you aren’t clever, resourceful and brave.’
‘I don’t know who I am if I’m not Lord of Trevarron.’ He stopped in his pacing and stared at me. ‘And I know that… that was what you wanted from me. As a man. As your lord. I can no longer be that for you.’ He lowered his eyes and turned away.
‘William… that doesn’t matter to me. That was a game we played. It was never who we really are,’ I exclaimed, going to him, but he pushed me away. How could he think that I only wanted him because of his title? Was he so wrapped up in his idea of himself that he didn’t understand that our bond was more than the master and servant games we had enjoyed in the bedroom? William was the most manly, strong, masculine man I had ever known, and just being near him made me want to dissolve into him. I had never known a man like him before.
‘You might say that. But I know what brings you pleasure, and, even if you don’t know it now, you will lose your passion for me, as you will lose your respect,’ he muttered.
‘I won’t, William. I couldn’t,’ I protested, but he shook his head.
‘You are naïve. We are lost here, and I am no help to you.’ He was as gruff and unyielding as I’d ever known him, and trying to convince him otherwise was almost impossible. I wanted to knock his head against the wall.
‘Please understand that I did what I thought was best. For both of us…’ I tried again, but I could see from his face that he didn’t want to hear me.
‘I don’t understand anything,’ he muttered, staring at his hands. ‘Nothing at all.’
EIGHT
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I woke up suddenly on the small bed in the cottage’s tiny room under the eaves. It was dark, and the cottage was silent.
William was gone.
I sat up, rubbing my eyes and trying to dispel the troubled half dreams that still floated in front of my eyes. I’d been dreaming of running. Running away from something terrible behind me: Smoke. Cries. Shouting. But, already, as my eyes focused on the room in front of me, I lost the details. Only the feeling of terror remained.
I heard a faint noise, downstairs, a creak, and then the sound of a door closing quietly. I got up, pulled on my clothes quickly and padded down the stairs.
Opening the cottage front door, I saw that it had been left on the latch. I walked out into the night, only to see William on the other side of the garden gate, striding purposefully away from the cottage.
‘William!’ I ran after him, but his legs were much longer than mine and it was difficult to keep up. ‘Where are you going?’ I panted, following him as he strode up the lane that Yew Tree Cottage sat on.
‘Leave me alone,’ he grumbled over his shoulder. ‘I want to be alone.’
‘No. We need to talk.’ Valiantly, I kept up with him, though my long skirt and petticoats impeded me.Damn long skirts, I thought. I missed jeans. I missed the freedom of comfortable clothes.
‘Do we?’ He cast a glance down at me. ‘What more can you have to say? Although, I forget that Miss Tegan Penrose always has more to say.’
‘Yes. I think we need to talk more. A lot more,’ I said. I needed to make him understand where we were. I needed to teach him what I knew about time travel, and get him to help me think of a way we could get home. Our respective homes, perhaps, though the thought of losing him again tugged painfully at my heart.
‘You think entirely too much for a woman,’ he muttered. ‘I suppose I will have to get used to that.’
His comment made me hope that he wasn’t leaving forever; that he had just needed some space. Cautious relief flooded through me.
The lane that led to Yew Tree Cottage met a slightly bigger country road at its bottom; it hadn’t changed too much in my time, apart from being tarmac rather than dirt. In my time, that small road led through St Nantes, down past Cullens’ farm, some other cottages and a small post office and village shop. I wondered what was on that road now.
However, instead of turning right, William turned left, onto the fields behind the house. A couple of wild ponies grazed at the far edge, ignoring us.
