“No, she said I would. That I’d make the change. I thought it was just wishful thinking but—”
He frowns. “But what?”
“But all of my ah…symptoms fit.”
“What symptoms?”
I flush. It’s probably a bad idea to mention the fact that I’ve been dreaming about him for the last week and playing with myself each time because I wake up so horny I can’t stand it. Or the fact that I’m currently wondering if he would taste as goodas he smells because he smells pretty fucking great. “Well, I’m feeling hot, for one. And my scent has changed. You must have noticed it.”
Now it’s Bastien’s turn to shift uncomfortably. “Yeah. I mean I did. But you’re sure?”
I shrug. “No, but if I am going to go into heat, don’t you think I should try to get back to town? To find an alpha.” I cough. “To rut me.”
Bastien’s jaw tightens. “Absolutely not.”
I stare at him. Is that… is he jealous?
He turns away, pacing toward the door. “It’s far too dangerous. I can’t let you go out there in these conditions.”
I’m fighting with my instincts to chase after him and wrap my arms and legs as far around him as they’ll go, and it takes me a moment to process what he’s saying. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that you stay here where it’s safe, and I’ll go and bring back an alpha.”
I blink. Bas go out there in the snowstorm and risk himself just to bring back someone else when all I want is him? “That doesn’t make sense. If it’s so dangerous then why would you risk yourself?”
He bunches his hand into a fist and slams it into the wall so hard I’m scared he’ll hurt himself. “Because I won’t risk you, Vera. Your family would never forgive me.” He turns to look at me and his expression softens. “I would never forgive myself.”
“But what if you don’t make it back?” My vision gets blurry, and I blink back stupid tears. A moment ago I was fantasizing about licking him all over. Now I want to curl up in a ball and weep. Definitely all the symptoms.
Bas is perceptive. He comes closer again and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Hey, it’s OK. I’ve got you. I’ll make sure you get through whatever this is.”
Warmth from his hand spreads through me despite my clothing, and I concentrate hard to prevent myself from squeezing my legs together around a sudden throbbing.
Bastien’s nostrils flare, and he lifts his hand slowly. "How long have you been feeling like this?”
I want to whimper at the loss of contact. At the same time, hearing him confirm what I already suspected somehow makes this so much more real. It drags a soft sound from between my lips that I fail so smother. “A few days, maybe.”
Bastien’s eyes widen. “I’ll go. Let me shift and I’ll—”
I grab his arm. “Don’t go! Please don’t go. I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want some random alpha. I want—”
“Vera.” His tone is a warning.
I forge on anyway. “I want you. Why can’t it be you? I know you’re not an alpha, but I don’t care.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“I’m on birth control. You wouldn’t have to worry.”
“It’s not that. It’s just not a good idea. I’m not a good candidate.”
“Why not?” I demand, not caring any longer about holding back. My hormones are screaming at me to do something, to fill the hole opening up inside me.
A huff of air leaves Bas in a laugh, shocking me back into the moment. “God, Ver, you really want to know?”
“Yeah.” Really doesn’t cover it.
He sighs. “It can’t be me because… because I’m too big.”
