Locke opens his mouth as if to argue and shuts it. He puts up no fight as we both slide into the heavy furs draped over the ice bed and I wrap myself around him. I take my BloodSense Fang out of my inventory and set it on the bedside table.
Just in case.
Ain’t no one gonna milk me without a fight.
CHAPTER38
VESPER
“Good morning, Vespera.”
I crack my eyelids and look around the room. Locke is currently fast asleep on the floor where he must have rolled off the too small plush bed in the middle of the night. He’d stolen one of the pillows and is currently hugging it so tight, it looks almost painful. His expression is relaxed right now, making him look younger than he is. His lips are slightly parted as he breathes, his black hair falling messily over his forehead.
“Are you still not speaking to me?”
I sigh and stand from the bed, stretching until my bones pop. The red outfit I’d been forced to change into is still just as soft as I remember, leaving me feeling far more comfortable than my winter gear. In that, Anders was right, even if he’s a lunatic about everything else.
“You act as if I’m the one who started this,” I murmur as I study my reflection in the small mirror. “You left me out on the Frostbit Sea, remember?”
“I explained my reasoning,” he answers.
I meet my eyes in the mirror, as if it’s Cipher’s I’m looking into. “Does that make it somehow better?”
He pauses. When his answer comes, it’s slow and hesitant. “I am here now.”
“Are you, though?” I ask, turning on the water and splashing some of it on my face. I’ll never get used to the concept of warm water. Dross had some plumbing, but it was always cold. Being able to make hot water in a sink is some sort of magic I never want to give up. “You’re just a machine, after all.”
“I am much more than a machine, Vespera.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I whisper, careful not to wake up Locke. He needs his sleep in case it takes us longer than twelve hours to get out of the Howling Wind Plains.
“Lying to yourself does not benefit you.”
Cipher and I have barely talked since the orca pod in the Frostbit Sea. I’d been cavalier with my feelings before then, assuming that because he’d helped us, found loopholes for us, that he cared. When it mattered most, when I was looking death in the eye, he’d left me.
I have enjoyed our banter, Vespera.
I try not to think about how much those words had stung. I’d been certain I was about to die there in that water. I’d known the odds were bad even without Cipher popping in with his statistics. I didn’t expect the system overlord to hold my hand while I died, but I did expect him to at least be there with me. When he hadn’t been . . .
It had hurt me, I realize.
Cipher . . . hadhurtme.
And it was my dumbass who had allowed myself to be hurt by him. I should shut this down now, make sure our communication from here on out is as needed to survive the Harrow only. That would be the smart thing to do.
Instead, I find myself looking up into my eyes again. Perhaps, one day, I’ll be able to look into his.
“Why do you speak to me?” I ask.
“It is my role to?—”
“No,” I interrupt. “Why do you speak to me all the time and not Locke?”
“I do not particularly like Locke. You know that,” he answers.
“But you like me?” I push. “Why?”
Cipher pauses for a moment, as if computing. “Would you like a list or an emotional description?”
