“Ooh, you’re gonna love Kylo Ren. He’ssohot.”
“I’m a Han Solo guy myself,” he says, typing in the title of the movie slower than Frank would. He really has missed a lot these last seven years. Maybe even longer. I doubt he had access to a smart TV before.
Addie wrinkles her nose. “Ew. He’s so old.”
“He’s cool.”
“I guess,” she concedes, “but Kylo Ren is—”
“Isn’t he the villain?”
“Obviously, that’s why he’s hot. Keep up, Uncle Will.”
She picks up her phone to show him pictures, and Will shakes his head, but he’s smiling the way he does when he’s around the kids, all while I watch from the doorway, ignoring the urge to sit beside them.
He makes it harder when he turns to me, patting the cushion to his right. “You gonna sit or what, Doc? We’re about to watch Star Wars.”
“I— Um. I can’t. I’m leaving.”
He tilts his head in question, but Addie perks up to tell him before I can. “Dad’s going out with Karen,” she explains. “Again.”
“It’s just dinner and a movie.”
“It’s the third date.” She moves her eyebrows up and down, using a sing-song voice. “You know what they say about the third date.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I tell her, but she looks unconvinced.
When I look back at Will, he’s staring intently at the screen, reading the description. He doesn’t joke this time, or say anything about what I’m wearing. Entirely uninterested in me, the way he’s been this entire week. I guess he doesn’t want to give me the wrong idea.
I go upstairs to finish getting ready before it starts to hurt more than it already does.
The movie is a romantic comedy that Karen picked. It seems good enough, and I like a romance every now and again, although it’s the last thing I want to be thinking about right now.
Two people, falling in love against all odds—
Why couldn’t we have watched a horror movie?
Shortly after the commercials end and the movie begins, Karen reaches over and laces her fingers through mine. It’s nice.It’s been so long since someone has wanted to hold my hand. Since anyone has wanted to spend time with me in this way.
I’m focusing on her.
I’m not thinking about Will at home with my kids, watching Star Wars with them. I don’t care what he thinks of the movies or if they’re having more fun than I am—
I’m not thinking about that.
Karen shifts beside me, resting her head on my shoulder, and I move my arm to accommodate her, wrapping it around her shoulder. She looks up at me with a smile, and I smile back because I’m supposed to, but when her gaze returns to the movie, mine doesn’t.
I settle in, closing my eyes, my mind drifting.
To last night, stitching up Will’s hand. To his mouth on my lips and his uninjured hand on my ass through my scrubs. Why did he do that? I wasn’t doing anything. I was tidying up, exhausted, ready to go home, and then he kissed me.
This means nothing.
That’s what he said. But why did he do it then? Why would you kiss someone if it means nothing? If you’re going to mock them when they—
Karen laughs at something on screen, and I try to tune back in, but I have no idea what’s going on, so I go back to Will’s mouth and his groan against my lips and the way his hand felt.
It’s a good memory, regardless of his intentions. But it’s spoiled by what happened after. The way I couldn’t control my body. I’m a forty-five year old man, and I came in my pants from kissing a man who hates me.
