“Parts of it.” She takes a bite, choosing her words carefully. “I was feeling lost for a while. And I thought if I went somewhere new, I could figure out why. And I did.” Her hand finds mine on the table, resting there, while her other arm goes around Addie. “And this is exactly where I want to be.”
The words are sweet, and I want this to feel right, but someone is missing.
“Oh!” Addie sits up, pointing her fork in my direction. “Dad, did you tell her about Uncle Will?”
“What about him?” Jess asks, her tone clipped at the mention of her estranged brother.
“He comes over all the time!” Ollie announces. “He fixed Daddy’s work, and he watches movies with us, and he’s teaching me to play poker.” That last one makes me cringe at my six year old who couldn’t read the room if his life depended on it.
“He got out last fall,” I inform her. “He’s been staying at a motel up the road. He’s been around more than we expected.”
“Dad and Uncle Will are like, actually friends now,” My daughter adds.
“Mm.” She takes a sip of her coffee, eyeing me over the rim. “Are they?”
“He’s really trying this time, Mom. You’d see it if—”
“That’s wonderful, honey.” She smiles, and I know she doesn’t mean it. She gave up on believing him long before me or her parents did. “I’m glad he’s doing better. Let’s hope he stays that way.”
The fake pleasantries last long enough for the kids to go find other things to do. Addie announcing she’s going to paint, which she hasn’t done in weeks.
But that leaves me alone with Jess in the kitchen, cleaning up after breakfast. “Were you seriously letting him around the kids?” she asks, washing a plate under the sink.
I set my empty cup down. “He’s their uncle.”
“He’s a convicted drug dealer, Nolan.”
“He made a mistake.” I try not to let myself get too fired up, but my blood runs hot at the casual dismissal of him, even though I did the same thing a few days ago, when he tried to tell me—
“He’s changed. For real this time. Give him a chance to prove that to you.”
She turns around, leaning against the sink, with a sigh. “You don’t know my brother.”
“I’ve known him for most of my life.”
“You know what he wants you to see.” She crosses her arms. “But sooner or later—”
“Or maybe he’s actually changed, and we should support him so he doesn’t feel like he has to go back to his old life.” My own words make my stomach twist. The exact opposite of what I did.
“Let’s not fight,” she says, instead of listening to my defense.
“I’m not fighting.”
“Good.” She crosses the kitchen and wraps her arms around my neck, something she hasn’t done in years, but the feel of her body against mine is familiar, in a distant sort of way. “Jess—” I start to pull back, but she doesn’t let me.
“How long are you going to stay mad at me?” she says with a pout that would have probably worked on me before, but this time, I reach up and unhook her arms, taking a step back.
“I’m not mad.”
“Then what? I’m trying here, and you’re making it harder than it needs to be.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose before I meet her eyes. “Listen, I’m glad you’re here. Genuinely. But I can’t do this.”
“Okay,” she says, with a tone that means she plans on getting her way eventually. “Okay, Nolan.”
Emmett’s place is on the other side of town. A small, one-story brick house that’s worn down over the years. I’ve been here enough times over the years that I know the doorbell doesn’t work, so you have to knock, and his mom works second shift on Wednesday, so he’s probably home with his little sister.
He opens the door in a hoodie and sweatpants, and his dark hair is a mess on top of his head. He doesn’t look any better than Addie, and as much as I hate to see it, it gives me hope that their friendship is still salvageable.
