She clung tight to him as she said, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about how it went with Dr. Ambrose."
He gripped her hand just as tightly, dreading what she might be about to tell him, even as he did his best to keep his voice steady. "That's okay. I figured you'd tell me as much as you wanted me to know when you were ready."
"Yeah." Her head sagged forward before she lifted it to look up into his eyes. "Although even that's not really true. I wanted to tell you. But it's hard for me, Reaves. I'm not used to having anyone to share with. I'm so used to carrying it all by myself that letting someone in feels… wrong, almost."
"It's not wrong. It's just not familiar. I can't say I know how it is for you, because I don't. I have no idea how the hell you do everything you do. You have Zia. You do such amazing work. And you have your life handled." He glanced out the window to where her camper was parked around the side of the house. "You do so much, and you do it so well. You're so capable. But what I've been trying to tell you the whole time is that you don't have to do it alone anymore."
"I don't have to do it alone anymore," she repeated softly.
"You don’t. So, if you're ready to tell me, I'm desperate to know."
"I still don't really know, Reaves. But I'm scared." She drew in a shaky breath. "All I told you was that they did some bloodwork, and that he said he'd see me back in a week, right?"
Reaves nodded.
"I might be making something out of nothing, but it scared me. He checked all my lymph nodes, Reaves. Felt along mycollarbone, under my armpits. And it was what he said. He said my symptoms could mean a lot of things, and thatmost of themwere very treatable." She frowned. "I don't remember the exact words right now, but it sounded to me like…"
Reaves squeezed back when she tightened her grip on his hand, but he didn't interrupt.
"It sounds like it might be something serious, Reaves," she said eventually. "He said that he'd see me back in a week—or sooner, if there was anything we needed to talk about."
Her gaze never left his as she spoke. "I had my phone turned off this afternoon while I was working. It was only when I went upstairs just now that I saw a voicemail from Clara at his office."
"What did she say?"
"That he'd like to see me tomorrow morning."
"What time?" The question was out before Reaves could stop himself.
"That's the thing. She said whenever. That I could let her know, and he'll slot me in between his appointments." She leaned back against the headrest. "That can't be good, can it? Tomorrow's Wednesday. A week would be Friday. And to just slot me in between his appointments like that—it has to be urgent, right?"
It seemed that way to Reaves, but he didn't want to agree.
"I don't know. I guess all we can do is go in and find out. I'll ask Faye if she'll watch Zia, if you like. And we can call first thing in the morning. Or just show up, if she said anytime. I'm sure that…" He stopped, unable to read the look on her face as she watched him. "What? Shit. Sorry. Am I overstepping? I…"
"No, it's not that. It's just… it's hard to take in."
"What is?" He felt bad. He'd gone off trying to solve logistics, and she was still hung up on trying to process what it might mean.
"It's hard to believe that you'd drop everything and go with me and figure out what to do with Zia and…" She shook her head slowly. "No one's ever done that before."
"Then you must have been around some real assholes, is all I can say." The words were out before he could stop them. She'd never made any mention of Zia's father, and Zia hadn't either. But Reaves had to conclude the guy was a fool at best, and more likely an asshole of the first order.
"It's more like we haven't really been around anyone."
He wanted to ask about her family, Zia's father, and everything else, but this wasn't the time for any of that. His curiosity didn't even register on the scale of importance compared to her fear.
"Well, you're around people now," he said. "People who care about you. People who want to be part of your life. Okay?"
She nodded. "Yeah. It's more than okay, Reaves. I'm sorry I've been so… distant or… I don't know what the word is."
"I'd say it was more like wary."
She gave him a small smile. "No, not that. I've never been wary of you. Zia vouched for you before I ever met you, so I knew you had to be a good guy."
That made him smile. "I think I fell for her the moment I met her, you know." He only realized what he'd said when her eyeswidened. But what the hell. She'd opened up to him; he didn't see any reason to hold back.
"And I don't mean this as any kind of pressure. But since we're being honest…" He glanced out the window into the dark before turning back to face her. "You probably need to know that I'm falling for you too."
