Page 6 of Heaven on Earth

“Yes, I know.”

“And I could neverbewith another man, if you get what I’m saying. I can’t even imagine it.”

I nodded. “And I cannot force you to be someone you’re not. I simply don’t want you to do the same to yourself.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’m not pretending to be something I’m not. I just…I’m just lonely, that’s all, and I got a little too excited about finding someone to spend some time with, so when I realized that wasn’t what I got at all, I was pissed off.”

“I understand that.” I smiled. “But we can still be friends.”

“Even after everything I said to you?”

“Why not? You’re lonely, I’m lonely, and we both got paired together for a certain reason. Perhaps it was for friendship and not romance.”

“Does the Librarian get their wires crossed like that sometimes?”

“I have no idea. Perhaps we’re the first and we’ll have something exciting to report back to them after all.”

Ryan’s hand crept closer to my thigh. I almost said something, but I held my tongue, waiting to see what would happen.

“If you want,” he said softly after a long bout of silence, “I can prove to you that I’m not gay or bi or anything like that.”

“Prove?” I raised my eyebrows. “How does one go about ‘proving’ something like that?”

“Kiss me. Friends can kiss each other, right?”

My heart skipped a beat. “Naturally.”

Before he could change his mind and come to his senses, I leaned in, one hand cupping the side of his face, the other grabbing his hand that was finally resting gently across my thigh. I pressed my lips against his, closing my eyes as I let the sensation sink in. He didn’t pull away, he didn’t tense up, instead leaning into it, reveling in how well we fit together. It was perfection, and for the first time on Earth, I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.

5

RYAN

Ciel’s lips were soft, almost too soft, and his tongue slipped inside my mouth with no resistance from me. He tasted faintly sweet, like a wisp of cotton candy. And, exactly like cotton candy, the sweetness melted in my mouth and was gone before I could commit the taste to memory.

“Well?” he asked, pulling away.

My cheeks had to be bright red with the amount my face was burning. “I’m sorry, Ciel. I just don’t think we would work well together. The kissing I can handle, but it’s the other things that make me hesitant to even try experimenting. I hope we can still be friends, though.”

Ciel was obviously deflated by my reaction. “Yes, of course. I would be honored to be your friend. And, as a friend, I should leave and let you get some sleep. It’s awfully late, and I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

He rose from the couch, weightless as ever, but I remained in place, holding a pillow over my lap. He looked pointedly at the pillow, then back at my face, which was still boiling hot.

“I shall see myself out.” He turned around and glided out, his feet barely moving and his wings drooping ever so slightly.

I waited till I was certain he was gone to get up, adjusting myself before walking over to the window. My view was terrible, showing only a small portion of the street. The rest was blocked by the chipped painted-green fence that hid the apartment complex’s dumpster.

He was long gone now, but there was no denying it: Ciel intrigued me, and whether that was sexual attraction or a healthy — or unhealthy — interest in his more angelic side, it was hard to stop thinking about him long enough to even consider sleep.

My dreams were filled with Ciel. I barely knew anything about him, yet my entire night was consumed by him. My lips tingled from his lingering kiss, my heart thrummed every time I closed my eyes and imagined him back at my door waiting for me to let him in, my hands trembled at the mere thought of his fingers brushing against them and closing over them.

Whatever was happening to me, it was not what I expected. I’d never felt this way about a man before, let alone a monster. I didn’t even remember the last time I felt this way about ahuman woman. It had to be wrong, and based on how my cheeks burned, it must have been, but how could something I wanted so badly be anything but right?

I tried to get through the week without thinking about Ciel, but I failed miserably every single day. Every time I thought I was getting over him, I saw something that reminded me of him or heard him whispering to me in the rustle of the branches. I even went back to the library to pull my application from the matchmaking book, hoping I would get a chance to talk to the Librarian and clarify a few things.

“Ah, Mr. Adler, how lovely to see you.” Their tone was stiffer than the first time we met, and I didn’t blame them.

“Hi, Librarian. I’m just here to get rid of my application that I filled out last week.” I smiled sheepishly, shoving my handsinto my pockets so I didn’t pull at my fingers and give away how nervous I was.