She didn’t understand for a moment. Then, a slip of a thought occurred to her, what he might mean, and her eyes widened. “You cannot…?”
He nodded, now completely ashamed. “I cannot bed you this night, Avalyn. I cannot… I mean, my… well, it cannot be aroused and the physics have told me that it is because I have gone too much to fat and my heart is weakened.” He suddenly looked at her, his expression one of near panic. “I do not know if we can ever have children, my lady, but I swear to you that I will still make a fine husband and….”
Avalyn’s hand flew to her mouth and she suddenly bolted to her feet, turning away from him. Dear God, it couldn’t be true?If he could not perform as her husband then there would be no coupling this night or any other, and he would know that the child she carried inside of her was not of his loins. Panic surged in her veins and she stumbled away from him, towards the lancet window where the cool salty breeze wafted through the opening. She needed a breath of fresh air and she inhaled deeply, struggling to calm herself. Behind her, Charles rose from the bed.
“I am so sorry,” he whispered. “I never meant to deceive you. I know this must be horrifying for you, but I promise I will do everything I can to right this problem. The physics have even given me an eating schedule to follow. I promise I will adhere to it if you will only… not tell anyone, especially your uncle. He could have the marriage annulled immediately.”
Hand still over her mouth, shock written all over her face, Avalyn turned to look at him. He looked so pathetic.
“You lied,” she whispered.
“I did. I am sorry.”
She just stood there, unable to react for a moment. She could tell that he thought she was repulsed by him when the truth was that she was terrified for herself. She had to think fast.
“Have you… tried?” It was hard to spit out the words.
He shrugged, embarrassed and upset. “I have. Many times. But nothing works.”
“You have not tried it with me.”
His eyes widened at her. “That is true,” he said, almost hopefully. “But I could not ask you to do this with the very real possibility of no end result. It would be demeaning for you, not to mention a horrendous experience for your wedding night. Nay, my lady, I would not allow this.”
Now it was she who was wringing her hands as she moved towards him, struggling not to let her anxiety show. “I will insist. How are we to know if it will not work unless we try?”
He just looked at her, his embarrassment fading as sorrow took hold. With every ounce of strength she possessed, Avalyn reached out and took his left hand. Smiling wanly, she put it against her left cheek, hoping to spark some embers into him. Charles gazed back at her, an odd expression coming over his face as he lifted his other hand and gently cupped her face. He stood there a moment, gazing at her with wonderment.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” he breathed. “Surely you cannot be too angry with me for wanting to keep you at all cost.”
“Let us see if it was worth the lies and deceit on both our parts.”
He nodded, licking his lips as he moved towards her. Avalyn could feel his hot breath on her face, smelling of alcohol, and it was a struggle not to vomit. She could hardly believe the revelations of the night and now the event of something she was loathe to perform. But it had be done. She had to do her very best to make it happen. She prayed that Brogan would forgive her, wherever he was. She screwed her eyes shut tightly. Maybe if she couldn’t see what was happening, it wouldn’t be so bad.
As his lips hovered above her, Charles suddenly let out a loud groan. Avalyn’s eyes flew open just in time to see him clutch his chest and collapse in a heap.
He was dead before he hit the ground.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“The physics knewhe had a bad heart. He did not want anyone to tell you.”
Exhausted, cold and sickened, Avalyn sat in the solar in the pale gray of the coming dawn, listening to Barton’s soft explanations. The weddings guests were still about, having not been told of the groom’s death. For the moment, those that knew were still in shock. Especially Avalyn.
“Then you knew, too?” she looked at Barton, her voice soft and weary. “So this was nothing surprising, then?”
Barton drew in a long, slow breath. “It is not surprising. Shocking, aye. The man is only thirty three years old. But he knew his heart was bad. Why do you think he was so eager to marry? He wanted to at least have a wife to leave his estates and titles to, and hopefully any children.” Barton’s gaze fixed on her, guardedly. “Is there… a possibility of children, my lady?”
Avalyn didn’t dare look at William, standing in the shadows just inside the doorway. She could feel his gaze upon her, questioning, sympathetic.So Barton must not know of Charles impotency, she thought. Had he known, he would not have asked such a question. She lowered her head, staring at the smoking embers in the massive hearth. She was so very tired of lies and deception, but one more was necessary for all their sakes.
“Aye,” she murmured. “There is a possibility.”
Barton took a deep, cleansing breath as he nodded his head. It was clear that the man was struggling with his grief. The events of the past few hours had been disheartening andstartling. He was still having difficulty believing it, no matter how he pretended otherwise.
“God be praised,” he said softly. His gaze lingered on Avalyn’s pale face, now illuminated by the early dawn’s light. “You are the lady of Guerdley Cross, sole commander of her armies. I am sworn to obey you to the death. What is the first order you would have me carry out, Lady Aubrey?”
Avalyn tore her eyes away from the dying embers of the hearth, focusing on the handsome blond knight with whom she had shared a strange relationship. He’d set her straight on a good many things when her moral compass seemed to be spinning out of control; Brogan would do as she wished, William would bow to her commands, but Barton had been given the advantage of being moderately objective. No matter what had happened between them, she had grown to trust the man. She respected him a great deal.
She rose stiffly from her chair, moving to the fading fire and throwing a lump of peat on it. William moved forward to take the duty from her, gently but firmly shoving her away.
