“Aye, my lady,” Barton was already moving for the door. “Anything else?”
She shook her head. “Not that I can think of. Go about your business.”
Barton was gone, leaving Avalyn and William alone in the solar. William just stood there, staring at her delicate profile. He took a timid step towards her. “Are you all right, Avalyn?” he asked softly.
She looked over at him, her eyes growing moist. “I am well,” she whispered. “He never touched me.”
William’s eyes widened. “What?”
“He never touched me,” she repeated quietly. “We talked a long while. Then… then he never got the chance. It was over before it began.”
“But you told…?”
“I know what I told him. I had to.” She could see the shock on his face and she sought to make him understand. “William, Charles told me that he was physically incapable of performingas a man. He said that he had been that way for years. He was terrified that I was going to tell my uncle and that Uncle Richard would have the marriage annulled. So to tell Barton a slight untruth… it saves Charles’ manhood to the world. Perhaps this child was conceived for a reason and perhaps everything happened as it did for the greater good. This child will be born an Aubrey and will know all of the wealth and benefits that Brogan could never provide.”
William understood a great deal, then. Now it all made sense. “How noble of you, my lady,” he said with a hint of satisfaction in his voice. “You never cease to amaze me.”
She smiled weakly, her features pale in the growing light of the room. She moved to the lancet windows, gazing at the awakening bailey beyond. The sky was amazingly clear, none of the fog that was so usual. It was going to be a lovely day.
“William,” she said softly. “Will you do something for me?”
“Anything, my lady.”
A soft breeze caught her chestnut hair, lifting soft tendrils around her face. “I want you to bring me some ink and vellum,” she murmured. “I have something I must write.”
William eyed her a moment before turning to the great desk Charles had conducted his business from. He went over to it, finding vellum in the special box that writing paper was usually contained in, and a bit of further digging turned up another box containing ink and quill. As he pulled everything out, Avalyn rose wearily from her seat and made her way over to the desk, planting herself in Charles’ enormous chair. It had been designed to fit his girth.
Avalyn sighed pensively as she pulled out the quill and dipped it in the ink. She had so very much on her mind, thoughts and ideals swirling in the weary depths. She had been pondering the course of her future since the realization that Charles was dead, thoughts that became clearing as the day began to dawn.
Even as she had spoken with Barton, and with William, in the back of her mind she still know what she needed to do. She would not remain here, waiting to be used as a pawn again by her ambitious uncle. Nay; she intended to take charge of her life as no woman ever had. As always, she intended to do what she wanted to do, and to the devil with her uncle. He may have won the battle, but she intended to win the war. As William lit a bank of fat tapers, producing more light for her to see by, Avalyn began to carefully scribe.
She could feel William’s curiosity from where she stood but she ignored him as she cautiously sketched out each letter. She was nearly finished before she spoke again.
“This is a directive to my uncle,” she said softly, scratching out the last few letters. “As I said before, he will undoubtedly be planning on who else he can wed me to once he discovers that Charles has passed. We cannot keep my husband’s death from him forever, so this missive is designed to circumvent anything he might try to do. Whatever happens, I want Guerdley Cross to remain intact. I want it for this child.”
William was listening to her with both concern and interest. “What will you do?”
Avalyn stopped writing and turned to him. “This missive makes my wishes known, as Lady Aubrey,” she replied. “In this missive, it states that even though my husband is dead, I am pregnant with his child and the Aubrey estates are my child’s birthright and will be held in state for the child until I return. It also states that I am taking an indefinite leave of Guerdley Cross. I will be traveling for an unknown amount of time and during my absence, Barton St. John is in charge of Guerdley Cross and has my permission to make any and all decisions regarding the Aubrey estates in my absence. I also make it very clear that I will return someday but I do not say when. Truthfully, I do not know if I will ever return, but this way, Barton is in charge of GuerdleyCross and my uncle cannot touch it. If he cannot locate me, then he cannot marry me off, and Guerdley Cross remains in state until I return.”
William understood well her logic; he had to admit that it was brilliant. But something more concerned him. “Where will you go?” he asked.
Avalyn met his gaze steadily. “To a little bread shop in London,” she said softly. “After that, I am not entirely sure. I will send you word when I know.”
William’s expression tightened dramatically at the realization of something he should have suspected all along. Avalyn may have married Aubrey, but Brogan was not out of her mind, not in the least. Now that Aubrey was dead, there was nothing to prevent her from going to Brogan and finishing what she had started.
“So you will go to d’Aurilliac?” he hissed. “Avalyn, how can you do that? With everything you have put that man through, how can you return to him and continue his torment?”
Avalyn knew it would be his reaction and it was difficult not to react in kind. “I will not continue his torment,” she murmured. “I will marry him.”
William’s eyebrows few up in disbelief. “Marryhim?” he spat. “What of the conversations we had where you acknowledge there was no possibility of a harmonious marriage for the two of you? What about everything you said whilst locked in the vault? Was that all a lie?”
She was growing increasingly defensive. “I said all of that because of my betrothal to Charles and you know it,” she fired back softly. “Ihadto say that to save all of us from spending the rest of our lives in the vault. Now, with Charles dead, there is no reason why Brogan and I cannot be married. William, I love him. He is the father of my child. I will always love him and not being with him, to be a pawn in my uncle’s schemes for more powerand wealth, have ripped out my soul. I want Brogan and I will have him, right or wrong. If I have to choose between love and my honor, I will choose love every time.”
It was a passionate speech, enough to cool William’s building rage. He just stood there and stared at her, sickened to the bone.
“As I would choose love,” he muttered, “for I have loved you as long as I can remember. Forget about Brogan, Avalyn. Marry me and we will live here at Guerdley Cross as man and wife, and I will love you and only you until I die. Do me this honor;please.”
Avalyn’s defensive stance took a direct hit; she had been expecting a confession like this for a very long time and the expression on his face cut her to the bone. Her dear friend, the man she could not do with out… but she did not love him. It was a horribly painful thing to tell him.
