Page 28 of Made to Be

My brows rose, “Really?”

“Mhm. For a while a few years ago.” He tilted his head. “You seem surprised.”

“Not surprised that you were a bartender. Just that you remember.” I set the plates down onto the counter, then asked carefully, “Do you... remember anything else yet?”

He crossed his arms over his chest and rested his head against the fridge.

“A little. But it's really fuzzy, like static. When I try too hard to remember, it gives me a headache. But it’s been slowly coming back to me.”

“Where did you bartend, if you don’t mind me asking.” I couldn’t help but be curious about him; who he was before he died and who he was now. I wanted to know everything.

“Radiance,” he told me.

When I heard that, the pizza I had been dishing out nearly fell onto the table and not the plate.

“Wait...” I began. “Radiance? As in the bar in Mayport, between here and Cresthill University?”When he nodded, I let out an incredulous laugh, “I used to go there.”

Frequent flyer, actually.

Radiance was a popular bar known for its good drinks and food that was decently priced. It was busy most nights of the week, especially on evenings when they brought in live bands. The drinks were strong, the music was loud, and their magic-infused shots were some of the best I had ever had.

It was also a well-known queer bar.

His memory seemed to be serving him fine because he watched me carefully as I admitted,

“I won’t hide it from you.” I flicked my gaze to him then away just as quickly. “I have a... bit of a sordid past.”

He smiled softly in understanding. “Who doesn’t?”

And damn if that didn’t lift the weight of my previous promiscuity from my shoulders.

“I don’t remember seeing you there, but you said you worked there a few years ago, so that makes sense.” After all, I had probably been with Ron at the time. Before he’d stopped me from going there anymore. “If I’d seen you there, I totally would have hit on you.”

I handed the plate of his pizza to him, and he reached out to grab it from me. Our fingers brushed and I inhaled sharply, electricity zapping over my skin. Then I remembered.

“Shit, your arm.” I glanced between his armless sleeve and the pizza in his other hand, obviously warring with myself. “Um, food or arm first?”

He didn’t even hesitate when he replied, “Food. Definitely food.”

***

I had just pressed play on our selected movie for the evening,Hocus Pocus, when I noticed Cam repeatedly glancing to where I had yeeted my dildo into the corner of the living room. What it had managed to take out was a thrifted ghost holding a cat painting on the wall which had crashed into a stack of books on a corner table creating a domino effect mess that I would have to clean up later. Or forget about. That was also entirely plausible. It had thankfully stopped vibrating, so maybe the batteries had died. I decided that was a future problem and proceeded to ignore its presence. But Cam clearly hadn’t.

“Okay, go ahead,” I told him as I picked up my third slice of pizza. “I know you want to ask about it.” When he looked hesitant, I insisted, “I won’t try to run away again, scout’s honor.”

I even held up my two fingers across my chest. Was that the right gesture? Eh, fuck it.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he began then bluntly asked, “but, why do you have dildos in your spell room?”

I studied my piece of pizza, probably a little more intently than I needed to.

“I get bored, sometimes,” I admitted. “And that sofa is really comfy. It happens a lot when I stay up with my experiments all night and just crash in there. And when there’s a...” I cleared my throat. “A particular itch that needs scratched, I’m too lazy to go up to my bedroom. I honestly forgot they were in there.”

He hummed thoughtfully as if my explanation was entirely logical and finished off his slice. I watched transfixed as he licked the pizza sauce from his thumb, the image of his tongue flicking out much more tantalizing than it really should have been. I swallowed hard.

“Makes sense,” he said.

And that was that. He didn’t tease me, didn’t say that I shouldn’t use those kinds of things. He didn’t shame me or make me feel like any less of a person for what I liked. And that alone softened something inside of me. Some knot of insecurity that had formed over the years.