Last night, her absence weighed so heavily I stared at the ceiling until midnight, finally stumbling out of bed to wander the palace gardens. Beneath a full moon, the cool night breeze tossed my unbound hair, free from watchful eyes. I choked down the fresh air as nausea climbed my throat.
And now, that same sense of unease made my stomach churn. Was this all that was meant for me? Tidying princes’ rooms and trading shallow gossip with the twins?
Never finding out what I or my magic was capable of?
My mind returned to the pillar of water reaching into the sky. How far could it have stretched, if the prince had desired? What was holding us back from reaching the clouds, or even the stars?
How far couldIhave lifted it?
I glanced over the princes’ chambers one final time before letting myself out. The hallways bustled with the midday rush of servants and nobles, all flustered with duties and meetings. I wove between the crowds absent-mindedly.
When I felt a light tug on my arm, I jerked my elbow away, my lips twisting into a frown. “Don’t touch me.”
Prince Thomas’s mouth fell open, his feet shuffling backward. “My apologies.”
“You frightened me.”
He pressed his lips together. “I shouldn’t have been so forward.”
I stared at him, unable to agree, but unwilling to deny it.
“I…” His words trailed off at my waiting expression. “How’s your daughter?”
“My daughter?” It took me a moment to realize what he was asking. “Oh. You mean my niece, Asha.”
He pushed up his spectacles. “Your niece…”
I nodded. “She slept from the time I brought her home to this morning when I left.” My voice wavered at the end, and I looked up at him with uncertainty in my eyes, hoping he could soothe the concern wrapped around my heart. “Is that to be expected?”
He nodded. “Yes, it is. I didn’t realize you were merely her aunt.”
Merely? I furrowed my brow at his choice of wording. “What do you mean by that?”
He didn’t respond, his eyes caught on something behind my shoulder.
I turned to see one of the sitting members of the Mage Council bustling down the hall, his gaze fixed on the prince. The man’s tall, slim figure and pinched features marked him as the famed Master Blackwood, a powerful noble and an even more formidable mage. His family crest appeared on many of the serums at the herbalist shop Mama worked at.
My eyes flicked between the two men. “I should go,” I muttered, dropping into a curtsey.
The prince barely noticed, sending a half-hearted nod my way before walking past me toward the mage.
Left behind, I rolled my eyes and walked on.Not even worth the time to finish a conversationhestarted,I thought to myself.
What would it be like to be worth that time? To command a prince’s attention, to stop him mid-conversation? It must be exhilarating to have that kind of power: a chance to sit on the Mage Council, to perform demonstrations for the courtiers, to have the King’s ear when it came to magical matters…
My cheeks heated at the ridiculous fantasies. I was beginning to sound like my father and his radical ways. It was silly.
When I returned to my room, Anna and Drea were away, still elbows-deep in the many duties we were overloaded with in Ella’s absence. I dropped onto my mattress, staring up at the ceiling, my calves aching from being on my feet all morning.
Is this really all I’m made for?
I needed Ella and her distracting dilemmas to dwarf my own. I needed David and his sweetness to help me untangle my own confusing pain.
Prince Thomas’s face crossed my mind, and I pushed it away with a frown.
I needed Papa.
I rolled onto my stomach, grabbing my bindle from beside my bed and rifling through it. I pulled out the book Mama had told me she packed, running my hand over the front. It wasn’t a properly bound volume—a strip of worn leather covered a stack of parchment, all held together with twine. Unloosening the knot, I pried the book open and recognized Papa’s own writing sprawled across each page, the paper wrinkled beneath the pressure of his thumbprints, his ink smudged into the corners.
