"I don't know if you ever fully move past it," he says honestly. "But I think you learn to trust again. Slowly. With the right person."
"And if I can't?"
"Then we'll figure it out. Together."
I look at him, this man who has been my constant through everything. "What if I need reassurance? Like, a lot of reassurance?"
"Then I'll give it to you."
"What if I want to look at your phone? Or ask you a million questions? Or?—"
"Julie." He cuts me off gently. "You can look at my phone anytime you want. You can ask me anything. I have nothing to hide. My life is an open book and always has been. I’ve never been like Asher because that’s not how I was raised. If you need to see my texts, my emails, my bank statements, whatever you want, I'll show you. No questions asked."
"You'd really do that?"
"Of course I would. I'm not hiding anything. I'm not manipulating you or playing games. What you see is what you get. I’m not a cheater and I never will be. If I was unhappy or I wanted something different, I’d fucking say it. People who cheat are fucked in the head.”
Tears spill over, and I wipe them away quickly. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so?—"
"Don't ever apologize for telling me your truth. You have every right to be cautious. To protect yourself. And I'm going to do everything I can to show you that I'm safe. That this is safe."
"How?"
"By being consistent. By showing up. By telling you the truth, even when it's hard. By never making you guess where I stand or how I feel." He pauses. "And by giving you as much time as you need."
I nod, unable to speak.
"I'm not going anywhere, Julie. I promise you that."
"Okay."
"Okay."
We finish dinner, and Ryan insists on paying despite my protests. "This is a date," he says. "I'm paying."
"That's very old-fashioned of you."
"Sue me."
We walk out to the car, and the night air is cool and crisp. The sun has set, and the sky is a deep purple, stars just starting to appear. Ryan opens the passenger door for me, and I slide in. When he gets in the driver's side, he doesn't start the car right away.
He turns to face me, and the look in his eyes makes my breath catch.
"Julie," he says softly. "Can I kiss you?"
My heart is pounding. "Yes."
He leans across the console, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. And then his lips are on mine. It's soft at first. Tentative. Like he's giving me the chance to pull away if I want to. But I don't want to.
I lean into him, my hand coming up to rest on his chest. His heart is racing under my palm, and that small detail—knowing he's as nervous as I am—makes something inside me crack open. The kiss deepens, and it's nothing like kissing Asher.
Asher's kisses were calculated. Controlled. Even in the beginning, when things were good, there was always a sense that he was working from a master list. This is different.
Holy shit. This isreallydifferent. Ryan kisses me like he's been waiting his whole life to do it. Like I'm precious. Like I matter. When we finally pull apart, I'm breathless.
"Wow," I whisper.
He smiles, his forehead resting against mine. "Yeah. Wow."
