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“Because I know all the local boys,” she said, pressing her breasts against my chest.
“I bet you do,” I said under my breath.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing.”
I felt like I was fighting a slithering snake. She was all hands, legs and breasts, and it was irritating as she attempted over and over to touch me with them at all times.
I was uncomfortable. Before Montana, this was the type of girl I searched for in the clubs. To my friends and me, these were the expendables. The girls we had fun with and cast aside. The thought of the guy that cast aside Bridge burned a hole in my gut. I’m such an asshole.
I felt a heated stare bore into the back of my neck and I rubbed it to rid myself of the sensation. I turned around and found the eyes the stare belonged to. Cricket sat glaring at me—a look of utter dejection graced her face. I found myself questioning her with my eyes, but she noticed herself then and turned her face toward the ground.
I looked to her left and right and saw that she was alone. I studied the dance floor and saw Jonah and Bridge dancing. I looked over at the bar and saw Ethan talking to what looked like a friend of his.
“So, what are you doing after?” the blonde asking me.
“What?”
“I was asking what you were up to later. I have my own place just up the road and…”
“I’m sorry. You seem like a, um, nice girl? But I’m not interested. Thanks for the dance,” I told her, leaving her there stunned, but I didn’t care.
I felt a magnetic pull to Cricket and immediately made my way to her. She noticed me coming and awkwardly contemplated the ceiling above.
“Cricket?” I asked.
She met my eyes. “Hmm?” she asked with an attempt at cheery.
“What are you doing here?”
“Oh, nothing.” She cleared her throat. “Why aren’t you dancing?”
“Because I saw you here alone.”
She swallowed. “You didn’t have to do that,” she said sweetly.
I sighed and fell into the stool next to her. “Yes. Yes, I did.”
We sat in silence for five minutes and the songs changed twice. When a slow song came on, I stood and held out my hand.
“Dance with me?”
“I don’t think that’s such a good—”
“Excuse me, but Ethan is a fool if he doesn’t take every opportunity in the world to hold you closely.”
She smiled and stood. “Thank you,” she whispered.
I led her to the dance floor and swept her into me. She was so polished, so refined, so unlike the blonde. I was baffled at her upbringing. I had no idea someone so elegant could come from such an interesting place like a cattle ranch. When I actually thought about it, though, every single one who worked on Hunt Ranch, down to the ranch hands, were polite, genteel and humble, even more so than the circle of wealth I grew up around.
I held her gallantly, respectfully, the way her demeanor, her confidence, her dress called me to hold her. I found myself gulping for air whenever she and I shared personal space. She stole away my sanity, every bit of my control and I felt frenzied, frantic whenever she was near and grieved the loss severely whenever she was not. The sensation was so new to me. She was more than lovely to me. She was painfully interesting, the best conversation I had ever had and I found myself wondering what she was thinking at times, instead of what she was wearing beneath her clothing. No one had ever affected me as she had. No one.
My left cheek rested against the side of her head as we swayed to the melody. We stayed completely quiet. I was unable to speak, too engrossed in making sure I learned her by heart. I felt so damaged holding her. My chest felt bruised, sore and hurt. “Hurt” was the perfect word to describe that misery of not belonging to her. My head kept calling out to me to save myself, to stop the torture, but I couldn’t, just could not, let her go.
“Cricket,” I whispered.
“No,” she spoke into my ear, then sniffed, her voice breaking at the end. “Don’t say it,” she ordered, taking a buried, raspy breath. “I-I can’t tell you why, but I can’t leave Ethan.” I nodded against her head and pressed her face into my shoulder. “I’m going to tell you something, but this can only be said once,” she began, and took another shaky breath, “I suffer for you,” she barely got out. “I want to be near you always. I’m falling in love with you and it’s-it’s a sweet agony, however, it’s still an agony.”
