Page 58 of Vows of Silence

I wasn’t exactly squeaky clean, either.

And time alone in this basement was giving me ample time to mull that over.

I had always felt different. And I had shared snippets of that with Luca. He had seen the darker side of my personality. The one that craved danger. The side that wanted to be owned and possessed. And with him, that had always taken a sexual form. Our late-night phone calls were about him dominating me, controlling me, pushing my sexual limits.

I missed that. I missed having that aspect of my life under lock and key.

Without Luca around, I was left to contemplate just how far the darkness within me spread, and it wasn’t a nice place to visit.

Which is exactly what I was doing at the minute.

Sitting on my bed, surrounded by discarded books and abandoned drawings, I was mulling over my life thus far.

Could it be that I’d been shaped by the aspects of my life I’d been blind to? Could I have subconsciously picked up on my father’s true nature, long before I consciously realised? Did he have more of an influence over me than I’d thought?

It was clear by this point that I’d been groomed to a certain extent—groomed to act a certain way, think a certain way, and to accept things I may not want for the good of the family. So by that reasoning, Silas was actually offering me freedom… in the form of kidnapping?

Yeah, my thoughts are a mess.

I was so deep in my musings that I didn’t hear the lock to my room click open. It was only when the door smashed against the wall hard enough to leave a small pile of crumbled brick on the floor that I finally snapped out of my mind, a scream ripping from my throat before I smothered it with my hand.

My first emotion was relief.

Quickly followed by pure terror when Silas stormed into the room, slamming the door shut with such force that more crumbled dust fell from the walls.

“Silas?” I said, half shocked, half terrified.

He didn’t respond.

Over the past few weeks, I had learned his movements the same way prey learns a predator. Usually Silas moved with terrifying control, every motion measured and deliberate. Even his silence felt precise.

This wasn’t that.

His chest heaved, his shoulders rising and falling rapidly. His hands were clenched against his sides so hard I’m surprised the leather gloves didn’t split.

He glared at me, his dark eyes burning bright beneath the mask.

“Wha—” I barely had time to finish my word before I was scrambling backwards, trying to avoid his huge frame as he dived at me. Grabbing hold of my arm hard enough to bruise, he hauled me out of bed and dragged me across the room.

My feet barely touched the floor, my toes scraping against the rough concrete with every one of his huge strides. I cried out, trying to tear my arm from his grip, but he simply tightened his fingers hard enough to cause my hand to start tingling as he cut off my circulation.

In the next moment, I was slammed against the wall, forced to stand on my tiptoes as he pinned me against it, glaring at me like I was the source of all his hatred.

“I don’t understa—” my words were cut off with a shriek as he slammed his fist against the wall next to my head.

I flinched, trying to curl my body away from him. Trying to make myself smaller. Trying to avoid the firing zone I had been trapped in the middle of.

His grip suddenly shifted higher on my arm, fingers curling tighter, and for one horrible second I thought this was it. Thought whatever fragile restraint existed between us had finally snapped.

The silver mask lowered towards me, his breath hitting my face through the mouth holes, frantic and heavy.

“Silas…” I swallowed heavily. “What’s happened? I can help. I can—”

His forearm pressed against my throat, silencing whatever I had been about to say.

Tears welled in my eyes, and I struggled to catch my breath, my feet flailing against the floor.

But beneath my terror, beneath every dark, awful thought plaguing me, I realised something.