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“I pissed her off. She’s avoiding me. The problem is that I don’t even know what I did,” I said.
His eyes lit up.
“Really?” Too interested.
“Yeah”
“Tell me what set it off.”
I sighed. Maybe he might help.
“Well, we were making out in my truck in front of her house.”
He sneered.
“Do you want to know or not?” I asked with little patience for his stupidity.
“Go on,” he said.
“And things got, well, sort of heavy pretty quickly and I stopped but she didn’t want to. I kind of yelled at her to stop and I think it hurt her feelings.”
“No kidding. You were making out with the girl and she wanted to keep going and you yelled at her to stop? And you think you offended her? Elliott, no offense, but you’re a moron.”
“Why’s that?” I asked defensively.
“Because, if a girl wants to keep going, that’s her problem, not yours.”
“You’re a jackass,” I said. “Don’t you get it? Jules isn’t some chick dude. Jules is the love of my life.”
“Please, Elliott. You don’t find the ‘love of your life’ in high school.”
“Maybe you won’t, but I did. Plus, what kind of attitude is that dude? You’re trying to tell me that if a girl wants to keep going in that moment that it’s her problem and not yours? You’re just as responsible for her as she is for herself Jesse. Grow up. Where are your morals dude?”
“Morals, schmorals,” he joked.
“I’m not kidding Jesse. If you’re not careful you’re going to make yourself miserable for the rest of your life. That’s the kind of blasé attitude that allows you to punish yourself in cruel ways.
“Think about it this way, you have sex with some girl you barely know and she gets pregnant. Say, you marry this girl and she’s turns out to be awful because you married someone you don’t know. You’ll be miserable and so will your kid, if she turns out to be a psycho. Say, you don’t marry that girl, you’ll still be miserable because you’ll have to share custody with a kid you feel belongs one hundred percent to you. That’s a torturous fate my friend and all for what? For sex with some girl who let you? It’s not just about her future, it’s also about yours. Is it worth it?”
“God, you’re a nerd.”
“Also,” I continued, “what if you do know the girl well and she is the girl you want to marry. Would you want to compromise her by messing it up with a stupid thing like sex? Dude, when you’re married you’ll have all the time in the world for that, a few years without it is not going to kill you. In fact, it makes you both that much stronger. I’ve got something with Jules that I don’t think even thirty year olds can find.”
“Okay, okay Elliott. You’ve made your point but I don’t think you’ve converted me to your celibate lifestyle there,” he said mockingly, brushing me off.
“Don’t insult me Jesse Thomas,” I said, standing up, raising my voice. “You think that just because I keep from doing that crap, it means that I’m naive. You can be innocent and simultaneously not be naive dude. I’m not stupid. Just because you have sex doesn’t make you older, smarter, or even more mature. In fact, it makes you just the opposite. You’re juvenile, stupid and below capacity.”
I stormed off with Jesse’s mouth gaping open. The whole cafeteria caught the end of our conversation and I felt eyes burn into the back of my neck as I headed out the double doors.
I heard Jesse yell loudly, “Jules broke up with him!”
I didn’t even bother correcting him, I was so ticked off. I went to the band room and practiced my drums.
I had joined percussion freshman year and worked my way up to varsity band last year. It was awesome because I didn’t have to play during the games and wear their ridiculous uniforms because I was the quarterback. Every now and then, I would join them when I had some down time during the games, but I wasn’t required to or anything. I had the best of both worlds.
People eventually started streaming into class after lunch. Taylor Williams and her little creepy crew came in. They all played flute. Her followers couldn’t even pick a different instrument. Taylor flitted to my side.
“I’m sorry to hear that you and the Jacobs girl broke up,” she said.
