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I sighed. I couldn’t argue with her but I could at least try to make her feel better.
“It just feels like it might,” I lied, “because there’s not a definite time frame.”
“Maybe,” she said, trying to appease me.
It was pathetic trying to keep up appearances with a person who knew your every thought.
“This is stupid,” I laughed. “It’s gonna’ suck, big time, but it’s beyond us right now Jules and it’s something we have to do.”
I stopped because I knew I’d just end up begging her to stay if I continued. I couldn’t help but be selfish sometimes. I changed the subject to save myself.
“Let’s spend the day tomorrow, just you and me and get our absolute fill of each other.”
We knew that was impossible but we could try.
“Of course babe. I need a lot of you to tide me over. You know? It’s funny but the more I touch, and kiss, and just be with you the greater my need for you is. We’re a catch twenty two. I’m damned if I do indulge myself in you and damned if I don’t. You’re the very worst kind of addiction, the most dangerous,” she said.
“Would you go back? Change it? If you could?”
“Not for anything,” she smiled up at me.
I squeezed Jules’ hand and asked her to call me in the morning, knowing I would barely sleep a wink.
The next morning, I felt like I was waking from a dream. I shuffled into the kitchen glancing at the mess that was my hair in the hallway mirror.
“Hey mom,” I said.
“Hi honey. Hungry?”
“Nope.”
“I understand,” she said and sat beside me. “What are the Jacobs going to do Elliott?”
“They’re sending Jules to Mauch Chunk, like I thought they would.”
“When can she come back?” She asked. “When they figure out who is doing this?”
“I know who’s doing it ma’. I just have to prove it now.”
This time she didn’t argue with me, whether it was because she started to believe it was possible that Jesse was responsible or that she didn’t want to ruffle my feathers, I’m not sure. The phone rang then and it was Jules.
“Come over,” she barely said, “let’s go to the rock bridge.”
That was all I needed to hear and I was as good as out the door.
I picked Jules up from her house and her eyes looked so tired, her skin was beginning to hollow on her even more now but her smile was still as warm as ever.
“I’ve missed you terribly,” she said softly.
“So have I dear. It feels like ages.”
We slowly walked our invisible path to our marble slab and were in absolutely no hurry. I was so grateful that Jules hadn’t seen the package. I tried to leave out as much detail as possible for her sake. It would have done nothing but worry her more and she was looking so frail these days.
I was dreading her departure but was hopeful that Jules would let the worry stop taking its toll on her. I jumped onto the face and turned to pull her up with me. I had a sickening feeling that this was our goodbye, albeit temporary, but a goodbye nonetheless and made the decision to savor every last second.
For hours, we sat side by side intertwined, talking. From little things like Maddy’s reactions to all the gifts to things like her concern that I not do anything drastic. In the end, I promised that no one would get hurt, at least not by my hands. Eventually we fell asleep. Neither of us had slept well these past few days, weeks really, and as we laid skin to skin we drifted off until the moon woke me.
“Jules,” I whispered.
