AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Plus I’m trying to avoid saying that final goodbye, you know? Trying to prolong this speech so we don’t all have to get into those limos, ride out to the cemetery, and throw dirt on his coffin.
Eventually I do mumble out a goodbye to my best friend and walk back to my seat.
My mom is there to wrap her hands around my upper arm and lean into me. And Bob is there to whisper, “Very nicely done, Aiden. He would’ve loved that eulogy.” Which means a lot to me. Probably more than he realizes when he says it.
Then everything is a blur. A priest, and then me and the other dudes from the garage are carrying the casket out to the hearse, and then, before I know it, time has cheated me out of minutes and I’m standing at his grave site, throwing that handful of dirt over the top of his casket that has been defaced with decals and stickers of cars, and Jeeps, and competitions we went to—because Kyle would’ve loved that.
And then the next thing I know everyone but Kali and me is gone. We’re just sitting there in those foldable chairs, looking at the gravesite. There’s a backhoe waiting patiently not far away, ready to scoop up the rest of the dirt and cover Kyle up for good.
Kali isn’t one of those sobbers, ya know. She’s not hyperventilating and there’s no snot running out of her nose. She just sits next to me with her hands in her lap and stares straight ahead.
I think I know what her heart feels like though, because mine feels the same way.
She’s asking herself, How will I get through the rest of this life without my twin?
Because I’m asking myself the same thing.
She sighs, heavily. Like she’s tired.
“Where are you staying?” I ask. “At home?”
I barely catch her shaking her head out of the corner of my eye. “Not staying.”
“Not even one night?”
She shakes her head again. “I need to get back home.”
“Why?”
“Because…” She hesitates, then whispers, “I don’t know.”
“You’ll just have to come back next week for the will,” I say.
“I don’t think I’m going to that,” she says. Then, for the first time today, we look directly at each other.
Kali is a pretty thing. Soft, round face, small nose, plump lips, and long, dark, wavy hair that falls over her shoulders like a cape. She’s wearing a little make-up today. Eyeliner maybe, because her eyes are darker than normal. And she probably started the day with some lipstick, but it’s gone now. Her black dress is basic. Nothing fancy. But she’s wearing a black hat with a veil over her face. So I see her sadness through this honeycomb screen of lace and my heart sinks. Or maybe it’s my stomach. I’m not sure. I just have an urge to put my arm around her, so I do.
She leans against me, slumping a little, like this is a relief.
“Remember when you and Kyle traded places for a day?”
She huffs out a small laugh and even though I can’t see her face, I can picture her smile. She always had a wide, warm smile.
“Oh, God,” she mutters. “Why did we do that?”
“I think it’s because he wanted to wear your clothes,” I say.
She laughs again. “I think it’s because he wanted to trade chores that day. He was supposed to wash the car and I was supposed to sweep the patio.” She tilts her head up at me, still smiling. “Guess who was out playing in the woods with you first?”
I smile back at her. “God, Kali. I’ve missed you. Why’d you move two hours away?”
“I dunno.” She shrugs. And then she does sob. Like a little hiccup with a squeak of sadness. “I’m lying,” she says. “I do know. I stayed in the city because I wanted to see what life would be like without Kyle. I wanted to live as a single for once, instead of a twin.”
I pull her close to me and lean against her now too. So we can prop each other up.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, ya know. Besides, I took your place anyway. Everyone calls me Kali now. Even Kyle.” I laugh. Because it’s true. It was a running joke in the garage that Kyle and I were so tight, I was his new twin sister.
Kali laughs with me.
Until we realize I just used Kyle’s name in the present tense.
And then that ache in my heart becomes overwhelming and I sink a little further down in my chair.
Giving in to the sadness.
CHAPTER TWO – KALI
I knew this day was going to be tough. The last four days have been hell. But I was hoping that by the end of the day I’d feel something. Not relief, of course. That’s not the right emotion. But… I don’t know. Like I could take a breath again. Because there’s been a tightness in my chest since I got the news. Like I can’t inhale all the way and then, when I finally manage it, I can’t exhale either. I don’t know if that makes sense. I just know it hurts to breathe and my only goal right now is to learn to breathe again.
