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It was always too hot in there, and always too crowded, and always too loud. But it was fun. And we knew what to expect from each other. It was familiar, I guess. The ride out here was always Kyle driving, Kali in the passenger seat, and me in the back. Leaning forward between their seats, arms resting on their headrests. And it made me feel like I was putting my arms around them. Like we were a team.
I pull into the parking lot and automatically find a space close to where Kyle always parked.
“I can’t even believe this is still here,” Kali exclaims. She’s smiling and excited and I’m glad our plans changed from grown-up romance to teenage fun. “I didn’t even think kids did stuff like this anymore. These days it’s all smartphones and social media.”
“They don’t know what they’re missing,” I say. “Come on. I’m ready to kick your ass on the track.”
We hold hands as we walk inside the arcade and stand in line at the ticket counter for the karts. There are quite a few kids but surprisingly, there are a lot of adults like us too. Maybe they used to come here as teenagers and are on first dates? Maybe we’re not so different than other people? Maybe it takes growing up and growing apart to realize that the one you loved first is the only one you’ll ever love for real?
I get us both a wrist band for unlimited kart rides and then we just… do our thing. Morph back into the old version of us, but better.
It’s both surprising and sobering that I barely fit in this car now. It hits home just how much I’ve changed. But I feel the same now as I did back then.
Excited to be here with Kali. Thrilled as we laugh our way around the track. And proud of her every time she beats me.
We don’t race anyone else. Never did. It was always just us out here.
When we get tired of that we order a pizza in the little snack bar area, then play some video games and skee ball. I was always better at that than Kali because I’ve played baseball since I was six, but she was always better at pinball.
In the end I win her a bright blue teddy bear and she wins so many free games on pinball, we monopolize that machine for hours.
And then the place is closing. It’s two in the morning and we’re walking back to the car tired but smiling.
“That was the best date ever,” Kali remarks as I pull out of the parking lot and head back to the city. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I say.
“I felt like Kyle was here with us, you know? Like this is the kind of date he’d approve of.”
I look over at her. She’s got her head resting up against the window with her eyes closed. Light moves across her face as we pass under street lamps and for a moment we’re back in time. Kids again. Driving home after the perfect Saturday night.
“I feel him too,” I say. More to myself than her.
I miss him, I don’t add.
I miss you, I tell him in my head. I miss you so much. And I know I’m your friend first and I know she’s always been off limits. But she’s happy with me, Kyle. And I also know you’d want that.
Wouldn’t you?
Kali nods off after that and this makes me feel good for some reason. Like I’m taking care of her. Like it’s my responsibility to get her home safe. Like I’ve taken over Kyle’s job in his absence.
You can trust me, I tell him, continuing my mental conversation with my best friend. I swear, Kyle. You can. I would never hurt her.
He believes me, right? He knows me, doesn’t he?
So why did he always feel this strongly about keeping us apart? Why didn’t he ever change his mind?
Then I realize… maybe he did? Maybe somewhere in that phone message he left for me there’s an addendum to the rules? Maybe he even gave me permission?
Kali wakes up just as I’m pulling into her parking garage. She wipes her long hair away from her face and says, “What’d I miss?”
I smile at her and turn the car off. “Come on,” I say, “let’s go to bed.”
Because I’m feeling better about all this now. I feel like this night was a win, that we’re both the people we were meant to be and maybe that’s why getting together took so long, and… that Kyle really does approve of us.
And there is something in his last message to me that will prove me right.
CHAPTER TWENTY – KALI
Aiden takes me upstairs to my apartment. I feel exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. This was the perfect first date. So many good memories came rushing back to me while we were at the go-karts. And even though Kyle wasn’t there, it felt like he was. It felt like no time has passed at all. Like we’re all still teenagers with our whole lives ahead of us.
