Page 101 of Traded

Carter waits for him to leave before turning back to me. “Is it Lauren? Did something happen with you two? I thought you’d found some common ground.”

I wish I could go back to the days when I thought she’d be the problem. I wish shewasthe problem.

When I shake my head, he rocks back on his heels. “Something is wrong, Ro. I can feel it, but I don’t know what it is. I can’t evenscentyou because of that shit you’re coating yourself with.”

“It helps.” The words are almost silent. “I’m fine.”

“Would you tell me if you weren’t?” Carter spreads out his hands, lines tightening at the edges of his eyes. “Look, I know I haven’t been around much. This fucking season, my shoulder,the pack changes… But you’re still my priority, Ro. I need you to talk to me, baby.Please.”

His hands rake through his hair. “Is it the pack?”

A thousand words have built up in my throat, begging for a way out. But the gates are locked, every exit filled by an alpha who chooses his words too carefully for me to escape them. They creep out through my eyes instead, and Carter exhales sharply. His words are rough as he reaches out, wiping the tears away. “Rosie.”

I cling to him when he shoves the blankets back. Wind myself around him and grip him tightly enough to hurt, but his arms hold me close as I let the tears fall into his neck. “I’m not going, baby. I think… you might need to talk to someone. Someone who’s not me, or not Liam or Jonas. Would that help?”

Talking to someone is the one thing I can’t do. I pull my head back from his neck, though all I want to do is stay here. “I’m okay.”

His face fills with gentle disbelief. “No, you’re not.”

“I’m tired.” Tired of trying to find a way around the leash on my neck. “I just need a few days to pull myself together.”

His phone buzzes, but he ignores it in favor of examining every part of my face like he could find exactly what the problem is.

I don’t know if I’m more afraid that he’ll find what he’s looking for. Or that he won’t. “They’re waiting for you.”

“Let them.” He touches my cheek again. “I don’t give a shit.”

But he does, because he’s always the first player at the Furnace. First on the bus. “Liar. Go, Carter. I’m not going to get into trouble resting up at home.”

At my dry tone, he smiles. “You absolutely could, and you know it. I’m going to call Katie on the way to the Furnace. If anything happens, I want you to call me.Straightaway. You can’t get hold of me, call anyone on the team.”

It’s so fucking hard to step away from him. My hands curl against my sides. “Go.”

Stay.

But that’s not a word I’m allowed to say.

I wait until the door to the elevator has closed before I move. I shove the blankets off my bed in violent, jerky motions, kicking them until they’re in the corner. The sweatshirts follow, my hand barely touching them before they’re tossed out into the hallway.

Everything has his scent on it. It has to go.

Heading to the kitchen, I fill a cleaning bucket with the things I need and carry it back to my nest. The bed gets stripped next, and I get to work with the wet attachment on the vacuum, dragging it up and down the mattress until all I can smell is the faintly antiseptic burn of the cleaning detergent. The blankets, the clothes, everything fabric—everything that could possibly have a scent attachment—gets shoved into a dozen black bags that I double up on and tie tightly, dragging them to the hallway and leaving them beside the elevator.

The carpet is next. It’s damp beneath my feet by the time I’m finished, my breathing heavy and ragged.

But at least I canbreathe. It feels like it’s been weeks since my lungs expanded enough to take a single one. The white, wooden slatted blinds nearly snap off in my haste to yank them down.

Nothing gets left untouched. The books go into a donation box. The trinkets get wiped down, a handful strategically placed in the furthest corners of the room and the rest tossed on top of the books. Taking a break from scrubbing at the windows, I step back and inhale shakily.

I can’t get rid of it. Not completely. Liam’s scent is too ingrained in the apartment, in my nest, inme.But this… this is better.

Backing into the corner, I let my back slide down the wall and pull up my knees, staring at my emptied nest with my phone in my hand.

Someone inside me is screaming. But I can’t reach her.ThatRosie andthisRosie are entirely different people, and this Rosie needs every part of Liam Kessler away from herfucking space.

But I need to find that Rosie again. Breathing deeply, I pull up my phone. Carter has already messaged, Katie directly beneath him, but I swipe away in favor of my favorite streaming service.

Music blasts from my speakers, and the side of my lip curls upward.