Page 158 of The Light Fantastic (Discworld 2)

'Ah, that's it, you see, sir—I can't. I'm under a curse, I am. A terrible thing.' He blew his nose again.

'Cursed to run a shop?'

'Forever, sir, forever. And never closing! For hundreds of years! There was this sorcerer, you see. I did a terrible thing.'

'In a shop?' said Twoflower.

'Oh, yes. I can't remember what it was he wanted, but when he asked for it I – I gave one of those sucking-in noises, you know, like whistling only backwards?' He demonstrated.

Twoflower looked sombre, but he was at heart a kind man and always ready to forgive.

'I see,' he said slowly. 'Even so —'

'That's not all!'

'Oh.'

'I told him there was no demand for it!'

'After making the sucking noise?'

'Yes. I probably grinned, too.'

'Oh, dear. You didn't call him squire, did you?'

'I – I may have done.'

'Um.'

'There's more.'

'Surely not?'

'Yes, I said I could order it and he could come back next day.'

'That doesn't sound too bad,' said Twoflower, who alone of all the people in the multiverse allowed shops to order things for him and didn't object at all to paying quite large sums of money to reimburse the shopkeeper for the inconvenience of having a bit of stock in his store often for several hours.

'It was early closing day,' said the shopkeeper.

'Oh.'

'Yes, and I heard him rattling the doorhandle, I had this sign on the door, you know, it said something like “Closed even for the sale of Necromancer cigarettes,” anyway, I heard him banging and I laughed.'

'You laughed?'

'Yes. Like this. Hnufhnufhnufblort.'

'Probably not a wise thing to do,' said Twoflower, shaking his head.

'I know, I know. My father always said, he said, Do not peddle in the affairs of wizards . . . Anyway, I heard him shouting something about never closing again, and a lot of words I couldn't understand, and then the shop – the shop – the shop came alive.'

'And you've wandered like this ever since?'

'Yes. I suppose one day I might find the sorcerer and perhaps the thing he wanted will be in stock. Until then I must go from place to place —'

'That was a terrible thing to do,' said Twoflower.

The shopkeeper wiped his nose on his apron. 'Thank you,' he said.

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