Page 81 of Nothing to Win

“What’s… I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Yes, you do.You’re a smart girl,” he said.“We’re through.Over.You and me.Your part of the deal is done.”

Sitting up, she didn’t like the creeping cold circling her.“You’re drunk, Mister.You don’t know what you’re saying.Gault is this week—”

“Fuck Gault,” he said.“If SG can’t get the contract on their own merits then fuck Gault.You and me?We’re done.”

“You’re drunk.”

That would justify this insanity.She said it because there was nothing else to say.Confirm it.Brogan, please, confirm that you’re not thinking straight.His inebriation was her only hope to make sense of this.He didn’t mean it, he couldn’t… Surely he couldn’t.

Over?Why would they suddenly be over?They’d been fine.In the kitchen, in his place, before Julius walked in.How did they go from that to… this?

“Maybe,” he said.“But if I am it’s only because I made this decision sober.I don’t want us seeing each other anymore.You can tell your family we’re done.”He grumbled, “They’ll be thrilled.”

“I don’t want to tell my family we’re done.”Though they’d rejoice.“What’s going on, Mister?Is this because we argued or because of what Julius said?”

“No!Fuck!”

“Don’t shout at me.We were fine.”Panic rose within her.“You think I left because I—”

“Stop making excuses.Fuck.I don’t want to be with you, it’s no more complicated than that!”

Taken aback by his fury, she sagged against her headboard.“So we’re done, just like that?Because you started to feel something?”More silence.She hadn’t meant to say it so straight, but it was the only thing that made sense.It had been on her mind all night too.“You’re going to regret this conversation tomorrow.”

“I won’t,” he said.“I know I won’t.This is a smart decision, an overdue one… You’re fucking expensive.Every day it’s some cause, five thousand here, ten thousand there, it starts to add up.I’ll pay for your friend—”

“We don’t want your money,” she spat, her own anger burning the tears in her eyes.“You want to void the deal, void it.We don’t want your charity.”

“Fuck it then,” he said.“You’re on your own.”

“Fine.”

“Great.”

A tense silence hung between them for a score of seconds.

“Goodbye, Brogan Spurn.”

“Goodbye.”

He hung up.Beep.Beep.Beep.The phone signaled he’d gone.Only then did she let the device slide to her lap.He’d ended it.Broken up with her.Voided their deal.

In all her messed up thinking, she hadn’t thought he’d—she’d told her dad they were fine.She’d shrugged him off and asserted something she’d have to walk back tomorrow.Brogan had ended it.It was unreal.

She wasn’t blameless.No, this was her fault.Leaving his place the way she had…the reality of her own dramatic stupidity wouldn’t sink in.

Brogan, the man who’d occupied her life almost every minute for over a month, was in her life no more.It was done.Just like that.Gone.

Was it wounded pride?She’d left him there in a hurry.Maybe he was mad that happy ending was off the table.Brogan wasn’t like that.No.She cursed herself for picking up the phone.She could have gone to sleep oblivious… if she’d managed to sleep.The call would’ve happened eventually, and it was probably better to cut ties on the phone.In person, they might’ve said more.She might’ve embarrassed herself.

If this was the truth of how he felt, it was better to know that sooner rather than later.Putting off the inevitable wouldn’t make it go away.

They’d argued plenty of times before.Usually they ended up jumping each other or storming away to cool off.Neither of them had even hinted at ending their agreement prematurely.

Until right then.

It was over.In that minute, and through the rest of her sleepless night, she’d have to fight to remember who she’d been before Brogan came into her life.It didn’t matter how hard she tried, everything she recalled from her life before him paled in comparison to what it had been when she had him.She’d have to be that person again.Go back to that isolating, restrictive life.