Page 62 of Below the Deck

Sam laughed. ‘What, you mean, sitting here in the darktrying not to shit myself? I thought I was doing a half-decent job of looking calm and collected.’

Eleni shook her head. ‘Nope. That’s not what I mean. I mean, what you’ve been doing since we got on theLusso. And what you were doing for months at work before that.’

There was a long silence. In the greyish light, Sam’s body shifted in his seat.

He’s uncomfortable. He knows I’m onto him.

‘You’ve lost me now, I’m afraid. Ha.’ That uneasy laugh again. ‘What am I missing? What is it I’ve been …doingthis whole time?’ His fingers made quote marks in the air. Was he mocking her? After he’d spent the trip – and probably longer than that – spying on her, collecting information? Gathering stories for his own fucked-up agenda?How fucking dare he?

Eleni took a steadying breath. She should get a handle on her frustration; it wouldn’t serve her to rant and rage before he’d even admitted to anything. Better to go in gently – give him enough rope to hang himself with. She’d change tack; she could use her negotiating skills to get him to open up. What was it she’d learned on that training course recently?Start with empathy, move to assertion.

‘Okay. Maybe I’m wrong,’ she said carefully. ‘But I’ve noticed that you seem very …interestedin the women here. And at work, back in the office. What we’re thinking, how we’re feeling, whether we’re worried about anything. Stuff like that. You’re concerned about everyone’s wellbeing, I suppose?’

‘Well, yeah. Of course I’m interested. But not like … not in a weird way. Just, you know, I see you and Lucy every day, and I care about you, both of you. The same as I care aboutloads of the people I work with – we spend more time with each other than our own bloodyfamilies, don’t we?’

Eleni felt a stab of guilt. It was true: she did spend more time with people at Ashworth – men like Sam and Rory – than with her own family. Her ownchildren. She didn’t want that to be true, but it was. Come on – focus.‘If you care about your colleagues so much, then that’s a really nice thing. Of course it is. And people trust you, don’t they? They open up to you. I know I have this week, once or twice.’

Sam sniffed. ‘I’m not sure where you’re going with this. Sure they do. I’m a good listener, aren’t I?’

Still pretending you’re the nice guy. But he hadn’t fooled his girlfriend. He hadn’t fooled Talia. And he wouldn’t fool Eleni. She’d known too many men like him – men who made the world believe they were decent, and kind, and good. Then behind closed doors, or computer screens in dank basements, or footage buried in hidden cameras, or intimate videos recorded without consent – they quietly controlled – no,destroyedthe women who trusted them.

‘That’s enough, Sam. Just fucking stop it.’ Eleni didn’t have time for this. ‘I know what you’ve been doing. To the women at work. To me, and to Lucy, and to Talia too – no,everyone, here on theLusso. Watching your co-workers like a hawk, inviting them for drinks, encouraging them to tell you things they probably never intended to say. And then,draggingtheir stories out of them somehow – stuff they might not have wanted to share with anyone, let alone you. Did they give you consent to record them? Or was it even true – maybe you lied about having their words on tape, to get what you wanted from Rory.’

A beat of silence, and then: ‘Talia told you all this, I take it?’ Sam’s voice was low, menacing.

‘How I found out is irrelevant. But you know what, Sam? I’m sure Rory’s done some revolting, stupid things. He’s offended and hurt a lot of women. I’m not saying that’s okay – it’s not. He should step down. I hope he leaves Ashworth and never holds a position of power again. But you know what’s just as bad – maybe even worse? It’s recording women – spying on them – without their consent, and then using what you’ve found out to blackmail your CEO into getting what you want.’

There was a sharp intake of breath from Sam, then silence. ‘I … but …’ He gasped and floundered. ‘No,’ he said, finding his voice, quiet but firm. ‘I’m not as bad as Rory. What I did isn’t even in the same fucking league. You’ve got it wrong. It – it wasn’t like that.’

Eleni twisted her mouth into a grim smile. ‘Oh. Explain it to me, then. What have I got wrong? Whatwasit like?’

‘I was trying tohelp. That’s all. When I heard the sort of shit Rory was saying, and how upset it was making some of the girls, well – I had to do something, didn’t I?’Oh please.‘They weren’t going to do it themselves – they were too worried about their jobs and their reputations to tell anyone – but I’m a bloke, aren’t I? I’ve got, you know, privilege that you don’t have. I had to speak up on their behalf. It was the right thing.’

He broke off as a stronger swell than they’d had since the squall had calmed lashed at the yacht’s underbelly; Sam lurched forward and almost fell off the sofa. He straightened himself up. ‘And listen, Rory’s stopped now,’ he said. ‘I’ve not heard any new complaints for weeks, and I’ve been watching himsince we’ve been here. I’ve not seen him try anything that bad with you or Lucy, that’s got to be an improvement —’

‘Okay, but none of that justifies the blackmailing part, does it?’ Eleni interjected. ‘Say I believed you – that you, in your bubble ofprivilege, truly thought you were doing the right thing, recording those stories on the women’s behalf. How do you explain threatening to expose Rory if he didn’t give you a place on this trip? How does that help anyone exceptyou?’ Sam stared at the floor; he said nothing.

‘And it’s not just Rory you’ve been watching while we’ve been here, is it?’ Eleni continued. ‘You’ve been keeping close tabs on the rest of us too.’

‘Ah – well, it’s like I said before, with you and Luce anyway, it’s because I care … not because I’m trying to gather any more information. Honest. I’ve just been trying to look out for you – all of you – with Rory around.’

Bullshit. He’s still lying.

‘Sam,come on. You replaced my smoke detector with a fucking spy-cam. You must have done it that day when you were here on the yacht by yourself – when you skipped the forest hike after you cut your foot.’ She was riling him up now, no doubt, and she didn’t care. ‘What did you do,blackmailMichaela to let you in our cabin? Threaten her with something so you could snoop around everyone’s private spaces – is that why she was scared of one of the men –you? And what were you trying to find out about us, exactly? What wasthatever going to get you?’

Sam stuttered in protest. ‘Eleni – what the fuck are you talking about? Aspy-cam? That wasn’t me! I’d never do that – I wouldn’t even know how to. Come on. You have to believe me …’

‘Oh, enough with your lies!’ she yelled. ‘Who else would put it there? You’re the only person here that would want to spy on me and Nick. You’ve made that clear enough with your eavesdropping and recording without permission.’

Sam held up his hands in defence. ‘Yes, all right, like I said – I did do that – and yeah, I was using what I found out from some of our co-workers to get Rory to give me what I was owed – the trip here, putting me forward for the UK head of sales role. But seriously, even if you think I’m a prick for doing that – and I get that, really I do – please believe me when I say that I didn’t put a camera in your cabin. Because, I swear on my life, I didn’t. I swear on my mam’s life.’

Eleni observed him closely. He looked genuine enough. But he’d lied already; he’d lied so many times, even in this conversation. He was admitting to bits of truth – but not the whole thing. Men like him were good at that. They thought that if they gave you just enough honesty, you’d believe them about everything else.

This wasclassic. She shook her head in disgust.

‘I’m finished now, aren’t I?’ Sam sounded miserable. ‘You’re going to tell the others, if you haven’t already, and everyone at work will know what I did. I’ll have to leave Ashworth – I’ll have to start again somewhere else.’ He ran a hand across his brow, then Eleni watched as he got to his feet, his movements stretching long, tapering shadows onto the wall behind him.

He stood still in front of her for a moment, watching her. Memories of his – and other men’s – subtle abuses of power were alive now, pounding inside Eleni’s brain, reverberating against her skull. Like the beat of those fire dance drums,taking on their own hypnotic rhythm, swirling and rising with the rocking of the yacht on the waves beneath her feet.